Hoofer leaders function like a virus

This may be the most disturbing news story of the year. It's not on the coronavirus but is about an extremely professional and determined Russian covert operation against the United States:

https://www.businessinsider.com/spies-hunter-biden-emails-trump-giuliani-vulnerable-russian-intelligence-2020-10

The Russian tactics are not unlike those of a virus, which co-opts a cell's internal mechanisms for its own use. Viruses are parasites that derive all their requirements from the host cell. Since viruses can't obtain nourishment or reproduce on their own, they are in essence a kind of proto-life--rogue DNA that evolved parasitism as a means of survival (see image below), much as Hoofer leaders and sailing instructors are parasitic on paying customers, a.k.a. "club members".

The Russians are planting viruses of the mind--damaging ideas (commonly known as fake news)--which are co-opting not only Trump and stooges like Giuliani but also respected news organizations like the New York Post (a tabloid, but still a major news outlet) to help spread these mind viruses. The key tactic is noted in the article:

"in September, US intelligence analysts learned the Russians were planning to dump hacked and forged Burisma emails as part of an 'October surprise' targeting Biden before the election."

The genuine emails give the whole thing a ring of truth, while the fake emails do all the damage.

That's exactly how Hoofer leaders operate when they slander club members they don't like. If you want to f#@k with someone but can't do it legally, what are your options? Slander! Take something that's true (to give your lies a ring of truth), e.g. "He was at the lakefront on Friday afternoon," and then embellish it with some falshoods, e.g. "He kept staring at my girlfriend" or maybe just "he acted creepy." How can a person counter that sort of thing? Answer: They can't.

NOTE that we are not recommending anyone actually do that because it's criminal, but that is how Hoofer leaders and Wis. Union managers operate. Lies and misinformation are easy to perpetrate and very difficult to defend. That's why Trump and the Russians are doing it.

You can learn this and other Dark Arts in Hoofers, along with sailing, kayaking, horseback riding, and skiing!

Losing her faculties

OCT 18 UPDATE-- Coronavirus is getting out of control in Wisconsin, probably due more to Republican interference than to Chancellor Blank stare.

SEPT 26 UPDATE-- Contrary to reason, Chancellor Blank stare has decided to reopen again despite skyrocketing Chinavirus cases statewide. SOMEONE PLEASE SUE THAT PSYCHOPATH.

SEPT 19 UPDATE--The curve continues to steepen, with an alarming 2,500+ new Chinavirus cases on Friday. That blows the old record--set Thursday--out of the water. Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, always a douche and now the UW system president, played down the significance, yet a week or so ago, 1,000 new cases/day was a record. This good article summarizes the issues. The article notes that Big Ten football is starting soon--despite 42 UW-Madison players and coaches having tested positive so far. Wtf? Are there even enough players left to field a team..? I guess we need football to keep all the stupid people from going insane.

Chancellor Blank stare: Please withdraw the UW from football this fall and don't even think about resuming in-person classes. Or, get Covid-19 yourself and disappear so someone with more common sense can take over. Thank you, The Syndicate.

SEPT 9 UPDATE-- As expected, the UW has abruptly switched to 100% online instruction, supposedly for two weeks only. Covid-19 cases at the UW were going exponential after just one week of classes. This sucks because the UW is one of the top party schools--who wants to come here and not party? Partying with a creepy mask on is no fun, though (except on Halloween). Oddly, administrators continue to tout "contact tracing" as some sort of solution--but contact tracing is the most ridiculous waste of human resources since World War II. Anyway, the last chance to party has passed! Before you leave, consider swinging by Bascom to give Chancellor Blank stare a big hug and kiss goodbye!

SEPT 4 UPDATE-- Well whaddya know? Just three days into the semester, 420 UW-Madison students have been quarantined: all members of nine fraternities and sororities, 38 of whom just tested positive. Do you think those frat boys are going to stay in their rooms for the next 14 days? Nope. By next week, all 420 will have the virus, along with every other fraternity and sorority--and hundreds of other students and staff. Bye-bye semester. "Our goal is to stop any further spread of the virus among our students and the community," said Jake Baggott, director of University Health Services. Stop any further spread..? Is Baggott a moron, or did he say that on orders from the chancellor? Containing the burgeoning epidemic on campus at this point is like trying to put two dozen live grasshoppers back into a jar after someone removes the lid. In theory it might be possible... but it ain't gonna happen. Now, there's nothing you can do but run. City officials must be beside themselves.

MADISON, AUG 30-- With the sailing season a total loss, fall classes are set to start this Wednesday despite the ongoing pandemic. What fun it will be! Everyone required to wear creepy face masks in class, and whenever you're inside any campus building. All food pre-wrapped, with the virus sealed inside for you! No football. What's the point of having in-person classes in such an environment? But that's UW's "Stupid Restart" plan.

More than 86% of professors and teaching assistants oppose Stupid Restart. Will professors have to wear a mask while teaching..? Some might if they're forced to teach in-person, yet the very idea is preposterous.

So picture yourself sitting in class for an hour at a time wearing a hot, itchy mask, the instructor's breath spraying on you, with everyone spaced out because the person next to you might be carrying a deadly disease. Do you think you'll be able to concentrate on chemistry or calculus or anything else like that? And will you even be safe..? Masks don't guarantee that the virus doesn't spread--they only reduce the chances. Frat parties and other off-campus socializing will go on without face masks regardless.

The fall semester is just underway at other universities and already there have been outbreaks forcing some to go entirely online, including at NC-Chapel Hill, Iowa State, and others. A major outbreak at UW-Madison is inevitable and will quickly force everything online anyway according to a UW prof. Contact tracing is a joke (propagated by people like Rebecca Blank stare), useless in the densely populated environment of UW.

This past Monday, a large group of public officials wrote a letter of concern to the chancellor begging her not to start in-person classes. Doing so will mean many thousands of students coming to campus daily to infect each other and thousands of staff members, many of them elderly and/or minorities and thus at greater risk from the virus. But why should we care?--we're young and at reduced risk!

I along with the other blog admins do not want to have to sit in class wearing a hot, uncomfortable mask, next to people who may be sick. Although the Chinese virus has a low fatality rate for young people (unless you're obese), it has many serious side effects that are only gradually becoming known. One is a tendency to cause hundreds of microclots in the organs of individuals who get the virus. Another is long-term headaches and fatigue that can be incapacitating. What other goodies await?

We would love to have classes, go to football games, party, and heck, even study at the library. But we would like even more not to catch the virus. Therefore, we echo the aldermen's plea to Chancellor Blank stare: SWITCH TO ONLINE INSTRUCTION NOW for all courses that can be taught online, which is practically everything. Even most lab courses can be taught online these days.

One reason the chancellor is so anxious for in-person classes is: she's old and doesn't know about things like Zoom, Skype, Google Hangouts, Facebook, or cell phone cameras and thus doesn't realize how easy videoconferencing (and teaching) is these days. Some professors probably don't know either. Another reason is: The UW wants the money.

Those are not good reasons.

Chancellor Blank stare: You will be personally responsible for each and every person who gets sick and dies here as a result of resuming in-person classes this fall.

Happy sailing (in 2021).

Sailing vicariously

Given the depressing lack of sailing in 2020, we decided to make a list of good sailing (or sailing-related) movies, and even re-watched a few of them. Watching a movie about sailing isn't as good as actually sailing, but it may be the next best thing! So, here's the ultimate list, ranked (roughly and subjectively) from awesome to great to very good....

Captain Blood (1935, b&w). English doctor is wrongly convicted of treason, sold into slavery in the Caribbean, becomes a pirate.
Sweet!

Mutiny on the Bounty (1962). Marlon Brando, Trevor Howard, Richard Harris. This spectacular remake is one of the best movies ever put on film and has aged exceptionally well, with a haunting ending that differs from the other two versions. The 1935 film (Charles Laughton & Clark Gable, b&w) is great when on board ship but is weakened somewhat by mediocre Tahiti sequences.

The Bounty (1984). Mel Gibson plays Fletcher Christian, who's just about had enough of Capt. Bligh. Anthony Hopkins, Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson, Laurence Olivier, and naked island hottie Tevaite Vernette round out the amazing cast. Better than the 1962 movie in at least one way--cuter Tahitian women.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003). Square-rigger captained by Russell Crowe pursues enemy warship around Cape Horn and beyond. Does that sound like fun? You bet.

Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951, in full color). Gregory Peck captains British warship on secret mission into the Pacific. Seems to have inspired Master & Commander, and about as much fun too.

Dead Calm (1989). Sam Neill, Nicole Kidman, and Billy Zane--together at sea? This one is a slow burning kicker.

White Squall (1996). Teenage boys crew schooner for summer class, run into storm, get skipper Jeff Bridges into big trouble. We know certain Hoofer staff will love the teenage boy theme (and others will relate to being in big trouble).

Kon-Tiki (2012). Great remake of Thor Heyerdahl's historic trans-pac adventure aboard a balsa sailing raft, plus a whale shark!

Billy Budd (1962, b&w, widescreen). Mutiny threatens aboard a British square-rigger, with lots of solid action and drama.

All is Lost (2013). Solo circumnavigator Robert Redford runs into the #1 terror of offshore sailors--a shipping container (no it's not the weather) floating just beneath the surface of the Indian Ocean. Character study has its moments and is well worth seeing.

Wild Things (1998). Two superhotties pull doublecross. Not really a sailing movie but worth seeing just for the final sequence, which is all sailing! Great cast includes Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, Kevin Bacon, Matt Dillon, Robert Wagner, & Bill Murray.

Waterworld (1995). Kevin Costner roams future Earth looking for "Dry land". Holy metallic monsters, could Hoofers build a catamaran like that one..?

Maidentrip (2013). 14-year-old girl attempts solo circumnavi-gation. Pretty intense, and a decent clinic in offshore sailing too.

Captain Ron (1992). Kurt Russell is a hard-partying skipper-for-hire in this Hooferesque comedy.

Jaws 2 (1978). Though nothing compared to the original Jaws (1975), this decent sequel is worth seeing just for the scene where their mom opens up the book on sharks, and.... The sailing attack scene is also great.

Extraction (2020, Chris Hemsworth). Okay, so this isn't a sailing movie at all, but it has a brief shot of a gunboat on a river.... and it totally rocks!

Well, that's all we've got. No doubt we've missed some, so feel free to add other good sailing flicks in the comments. IMDb is a good place to find details on any of the above. Note that no Pirates of the Caribbean movies are on this list because we're not including kiddie flix (and they all sucked).

Interview with the HOI?

Due to the lack of sailing news, we recently requested an interview with the former head of instruction but were turned down. However, if we had obtained an interview, it almost certainly would have gone something like this (note that we're referring to him as Micky Burger to protect his identity):

Blog: Thanks for agreeing to do this interview.
Burger: I didn't agree. You threatened to report me if I refused.
Blog: That's splitting hairs. Anyway, first question... Why do you think you're better than other people?
Burger: I don't think I'm better. Heh heh.
Blog: I mean 'you' the Hoofer Sailing Club leadership.
Burger: That's like asking white folks why they think they're better than black folks.
Blog: Uh, it's nothing like that, really.
Burger: Hoofers are better than other people, and if you join Hoofers, you'll become better too. Like joining a country club, if they'll let you.
Blog: That mindset seems to infect other Wisconsin Union employees too. Do you think it's because they're losers and are trying to talk themselves up?
Burger: Am I supposed to answer that?

Blog: How about giving us an update on the coronavirus situation and how it affects Hoofers?
Burger: All that's happening right now is B.O.C. meetings. No sailing. I brought this six pack from home because you need a reservation now just to buy beer on the Terrace.
Blog: Yeah, that sucks.

Burger: I love the teenage boy theme in "White Squall". Did you ever see that movie?
Blog: Uh, what?
Burger: [polishes off first can of Old Milwaukee] No?

Blog: Okay, let's move to another topic. What do you think of the recent rioting by the Black Lives Matter movement?
Burger: Yeah, yeah, I know--there are no blacks in Hoofers.
Blog: That wasn't really the question.
Burger: Okay, if they can say black lives matter, can I say that white lives matter even more..? Do I have freedom of expression to say that, or is it like some sort of hate crime?
Blog: Is that what you're saying?
Burger: I'm saying the vandalism on State St. made me sick. And I don't think Hoofers doesn't have black members because we discriminate, if that's what you're asking.
Blog: Ah, that's not really what I was asking. Not yet anyway.
Burger: I just think that white lives matter too. All lives matter, and frats are great at demonstrating that.
Blog: [laughs] Uh, by using racial slurs and having blackface parties and stuff?
Burger: [gulping beer] My frat never did those things.
Blog: But it is having a problem with coronavirus.
Burger: No comment.

Blog: Of course not. Okay, moving on, what's your opinion of Porter Butts?
Burger: He was a great Hoofer and a fine administrator.
Blog: Did you know he was a member of the KKK?
Burger: [drains beer] That's ridiculous. Even if he was, it's not like he was out burning people at the stake.
[Editor's note: Butts was the first Wis. Union director and a member of the KKK.]
Blog: So you don't see any connection between the Grand-daddy of the Wisconsin Union having been a KKK member and the extreme whiteness of Hoofers?
Burger: Oh my gosh, you people are just totally fixating on that.
Blog: Uh, what people?
Burger: Anyone who's not on the club's payroll.

Blog: There are rumors that Hoofer Sailing Club is discriminatory.
Burger: Well, sailing is mainly a sport for young white people. I mean young people. I mean anyone who wants to try it. We absolutely don't discriminate in Hoofers.
Blog: Okaay. So, what's your take on the Supreme Court's decision to cancel the governor's stay-at-home order?
Burger: I think the Republicans did a great job--it let us go bar-hopping again for awhile, and it will result in fewer Democrats voting against them this fall.
Blog: Uh, what?
Burger: Well, Covid-19 disproportionately affects minorities, so lifting the protective order and preventing any new ones will obviously have that result. I assume Robin Vos and Scott Fitzgerald had that in mind when they sued the governor.
Blog: Hmm, interesting point.
Burger: But those two are still crooks.

Blog: [pauses] Okay, what did you like best about the head instructor job?
Burger: The opportunity to work with the youth program. You get to massage, er, manage young men, I mean young minds. You know what I mean.
Blog: Not exactly.
Burger: [gulps beer] The best thing about the HOI job was that it was a paid position. And you get to order people around.
Blog: That's kind of what we figured.

Burger: If we're finished here, could I put in a little plug for Hoofers?
Blog: I suppose so.
Burger: Hoofer Sailing Club rocks, and you can join online right now! We've lowered the price because there's no actual sailing this year, but you can make better friends virtually!
Blog: Ah, prices haven't actually gone down.
Burger: Whatever. It's like Capt. Picard said: 'In the 24th century, we no longer work to accumulate wealth; we work to better ourselves'. Well, you can better yourself by joining Hoofers, and I can accumulate your wealth!
Blog: Well said. Do you mind if I pop that last can of Old Mil?
Burger: If you're buying the next round.

NOTE: If the former HOI (or current HOI) would like to do an interview, we'd be happy to publish that here too.

Broken system

Due to violations of the chancellor's order (and the governor's now-defunct order), the lakefront is now closed. The violators were naughty sailing team members who decided to do a little "racing practice" on their own despite the standing restrictions. How they got ahold of sails, we're not quite sure. Now no one will be able to sail for at least another month, and probably much longer.

The governor's order was recently nullified by the Republican-controlled "supreme court", a.k.a. den of rats, but Chancellor Blank stare's order curtailing activities on campus was not. Since last week the entire Union and Hoofer area including the canopy has been fenced off like a construction zone. To say it's bizarre would be an understatement. We blame the sailing team members, but in fairness, we probably wouldn't have been able to sail (officially) until July anyway, and there were other factors too in the chancellor's newest order.

So here are some things you can do in lieu of Hoofer sailing:

1. Stay at home and play with your little man.
2. Dig out that scantily-clad Barbie® doll you got for winning Commodore's Cup a few years ago and play with that.
3. Play around with a sailing simulator. Think of it as practice for this fall's online learning.
4. Play video games.
5. Attend this year's unofficial Pirate's Day event!

For info, email the commodore or the puppetmaster. By using private boats, we can circumvent the University's order and get sloshed while doing it!

One problem with sailing by the rulez is that it is invariably done with people who are not "part of your household" and thus everyone must remain at a safe distance, which is impossible on most boats. Even on the large keelboats, it's impractical. Hence the UW's closure of official sailing.

Would you even want to go sailing or hang out at a Friday social while wearing a surgical mask, and with everyone else wearing one too? That is just so messed up. Well you don't have to wear a mask on private boats!

If all this isn't disturbing, here's the latest depressing rhetoric from the chancellor:

https://chancellor.wisc.edu/blog/blanks-slate-planning-for-a-safe-return-to-campus/

It's going to be a summer unlike any we've seen before.

Elsmo Update

The campus state of emergency has been extended at least until July. That means continued virtual classes (how sick is that?), cancelled exams, no graduation, Wis. Union services suspended, and all campus libraries and computer labs closed indefinitely.

Don't worry, though--this does not affect Hoofer Sailing! Hoofer staff have been able to circumvent the governor's and chancellor's orders by having Hoofers declared "critical infrastructure". Hard to believe? Not if you know Mills and Dave.

This allows us to proceed with pier-in, lesson planning, and so on as if there were no pandemic at all (see photo of new Hoofer crane/ bungee-jump above). It's important that the season start soon since we're already losing wages. Well, a few of us are, and more of you will be real soon. Don't worry, we have no intention of waiting until July to sail. Sailing is necessary, and thus "critical", for various things that we want to do A.S.A.P., such as:

1. Making money
2. Having fun
3. Meeting girls (or boys if you're a girl)*
4. Getting wasted while eating brats
5. Getting slammered while watching the sun set
6. Receiving the adulation of paying members
7. Collecting cash from paying members.
8. Getting sloshed while sailing.
9. Did we mention getting paid?

No way are we waiting until the summer is half over to start doing those things. Hoofer activities take place outdoors, so there's no chance of catching anything from someone even if they're sick. Except maybe in the sardine race, but the Techs are gone now so that's not even an issue anymore. Even if someone does catch coronavirus at Hoofers, no big deal because it's not dangerous to young people.

So let's get fired up for a great 2020 season!

Club leaders: check the private BOC and/or instructor lists for more details and updates.

*Or members of the same sex or any other sex, or inflatable mannequins if that's your thing. Just to cover all the bases. Hoofers doesn't discriminate. much.

Sailing Head Dave Elsmo to quit

Tired of Wisconsin and its blossoming coronavirus outbreak, Sailing Program Manager David Elsmo has decided to quit. That's good news for many, and fortunately it won't be difficult to fill his shoes, not that we really need a program manager. More on this breaking story soon.

Elsmo's decision may be related to the fact that Hoofer piers are going into the water already--in defiance of Wis. Governor Tony Evers' order closing all non-essential Wisconsin businesses. All Wisconsin schools are also closed indefinitely. Yet, as of Monday, the T-dock is in (see photo), with more piers to follow. And the rest of Hoofers is gearing up for business as usual later this month.

We don't see Outdoor rentals, Hoofer Sailing, or general debauchery on the governor's list of essential businesses.

Are Hoofer piers considered "critical infrastructure"? Hardly. Looking at the list of essential businesses, there may be a loophole under "child care facilities". After all, HSC does cater as much to the kiddies (under 18) these days as to aspiring adult sailors. You certainly can't claim HSC falls under "educational institutions" because that's for distance-learning only (and it's debatable whether anyone learns anything in HSC anyway).

It turns out that to circumvent the governor's order, Elsmo got the piers designated as critical infrastructure. Hey, they're critical to sailing! We're looking into who authorized this--was it crooked Wis. Union managers or Chancellor Blank stare? "Head Instructor" and General Douchebag Mills Botham also participated in violating the governor's order. These Hoofer leaders want the 2020 season to start on time so they can start raking in the cash. We wouldn't be surprised if they're looking for ways to permanently circumvent the governor's order.

Guys, if nothing else, doing stuff like this makes the governor look like a clueless, impotent old fart.

If Elsmo were to change his mind and decide not to quit, he should be fired for involving himself in such a flagrant violation of the governor's order during an ongoing statewide and national disaster. Doing so puts lives at risk, and enough people have already died in recent years in HSC as a result of incompetent Hoofer employees.

Going down to the lakefront to put piers in the water or do other related "work" could be a criminal offense under Evers' order. At best, it sets a very, very bad example.

Time to replace the Commodore

MARCH 17 UPDATE--Statement on The Virus:

Given the current state of affairs, we ask that Hoofer Sailing Club members and anyone else hanging around the Hoofer area please adhere to the following guidelines until such time that in-person classes may resume:

1. No more sharing of liquor bottles or beer bongs. From now on all alcohol shall be squirted, sprayed, or hosed directly into the mouth using a club-approved device.
2. No more intimate acts in the men's bathroom/locker room.
3. No more sushi or other raw meat in the office.
4. Happy St. Patty's Day!

NOTE: B.O.C. and instructors are of course exempt from the above rules.

WHERE is our commodore in this time of crisis? Does he have a plan to deal with the corona beer virus? Has he a plan for returning our beloved Techs to their past glory? It's also his job (not ours) to inform membership of the passing of beloved instructors.

Coincidentally, with spring break and the corona virus upon us, it's nearly time to hire, er, vote for a replacement commodore. You'll have to do this online, like everything else these days. In addition, the "town hall" event originally scheduled for March 27 has been cancelled. We are working on a virtual meeting that could be held online (that way you can only catch a computer virus). The way things are looking, with the cancellation or indefinite postponement of the NBA and major league baseball seasons, the whole 2020 sailing season may end up being online.

Are you interested in dealing with [stuff] like this..? Do you crave power? Do you enjoy abusing others? If so, then nominate yourself as commodore! Better yet, have someone else do it for you (that will look better than nominating yourself). It's not too late despite what the club's official website says.

Some benefits of becoming Hoofer Sailing Club commodore:

• a $6,000 annual stipend! (that sure covers inflation--just a few years ago it was $1,000)
• a $400 Wiscard allowance! ($50/mo for the school year)
• a FREE lifetime membership to HSC (and the Wis. Union)!
• It's a resume builder (although I'd be wary of using that, given Hoofers' slide in recent years)

Other benefits (not listed on the website for obvious reasons):
• The power to abuse others, including your enemies.
• Immunity from prosecution for any crimes you commit.
• First pick of hot new (or naïve) female club members.
• You'll be able to track down those hotties at home using the club's own database--and you'll be able to do it without leaving a trace! (the commodore is one of just a handful of people who have superuser access.)

Does that sound like a stretch? Many other officials who are charged with enforcing the rules instead violate the public trust and use their position of authority for personal gain, stalking, etc. Past HSC commodores and head instructors have committed crimes and regularly ignore the rules.

And that big fat stipend is obviously one reason why membership costs have outpaced inflation in recent years.

So don't just sit around chugging beers. Help HSC and the Union twist young minds into a lifetime of crime! Apply now for the paid position of Hoofer Sailing Club commodore!

Got balls?

Do you like to dance while sober? Do you often find yourself hanging out with underclassmen on Friday and Saturday nights? Are you looking for friends (and not finding any)? If so, then have we got an event for you...

It's the Hoofer Sailing Club's 2020 Snow Ball, this Friday Feb 7! If you never get invited to frat parties, and if you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or other emotional issues, then the Snow Ball is just what the doctor ordered.

There will be dancing, prancing, awkward moments, and free Kool-Aid®. There will also be lots of people who are better than you, and if you've got balls, you may be able to meet one of them. It's an opportunity to better yourself!

And did we mention: FREE of BEER!

Just don't forget to bring your balls. Beach balls, baseballs, or little glass balls (marbles). But whatever you do, don't be throwing hundreds of them (or ball bearings) out onto the dance floor!

Free antiviral masks will be handed out at the door (free with your paid registration fee).

And that's not all!! This Saturday is the Ski & Snowboard Club's RAIL JAM, which oddly enough isn't listed with the week's other events on the Union's website. If you enjoy frostbite and respond well to authority, this will be a lot of fun too.

NOTE: Events end promptly at 11:45 PM because freshman have to be back at their dorms by 12.

Butt-plug fails, Packers get raped

SANTA CLARA.—This evening in northern California, Packers QB Aaron Rodgers--commonly known as A-Rod--tossed two interceptions and fumbled away a snap, resulting in three turnovers that doomed the Packers (14-4) from the start. The 49ers (15-3), who dominated the Packers in November 37-8, led today's NFC championship game 27-0 at halftime, an insurmountable lead they would not relinquish en route to a 37-20 win. The 49ers had nearly 300 yards on the ground against the overmatched Packers' defense.

Green Bay tried to make a game of it in the second half, outscoring the 49ers 20-10, but it wasn't nearly enough. The 49ers went into a conservative, rushing offense and a prevent defense for the entire second half, and had the Packers really threatened, the 49ers could have turned it back on and scored 50.

After the game, A-Rod passed the blame around. "We sucked," said the self-centered QB, who is now 1-3 in championship games. If he didn't say that, he certainly thought it.

Why do we hate the Packers so? We don't. We only dislike their quarterback because he's a jerk. After being drafted by former GM Ted Thompson in 2005, and after "Tittie" subsequently ran Brett Favre out of town on a rail so that his boy Rodgers could take over at QB, thousands of Packers fans screamed for Favre's return. In 2008, A-full-of-rod had this to say about the town's lack of love for him as the new team leader:

"Fans need to get on board or keep their mouths shut."[REF2, REF3]

In other words, forget Favre and get on board the A*-train, heh. Most fans got in line, but for many, Rodgers' arrogance stuck in their craw. A certain degree of arrogance and ego might be required to succeed in the ultra-competitive NFL, and Rodgers certainly has that. Nevertheless, we stand by our prediction made four years ago that the Packers will never see another Super Bowl with Mr. Obnoxious at the helm. He's almost over the hill now. What's worse, it will be a long, long time after he retires before another Super Bowl-caliber quarterback comes to Green Bay. Think Lynn Dickey--for the next 40 years. Kansas City just made it back to the Super Bowl after a 50 year absence.

Another thing not to like: even when the Packers are winning, Rodgers doesn't look like he's having any fun! He frequently leaves the field after scoring drives looking as if, well, as if he's got something up his butt. Maybe that's the look of intense determination. After all, 15 years later, he is still trying to escape the shadow of Favre.

So what does this have to do with HSC or the UW? Badgers fans should be happy--with the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers in the big game, it will be an all-cardinal affair.

*A. n., shorthand slang. the anus.

Dux win

PASADENA.—In southern California this evening, the Oregon Ducks beat the Wisconsin Badgers 28-27 in the 2020 Rose Bowl.

The UW played well overall, but four turnovers were too much to overcome. Nor was the passing game as dynamic as it had been during regular season wins over Nebraska and Minnesota. Late in the 4th quarter, a third down pass from QB Jack Coan to wideout Cephus Quintez fell incomplete, sealing Wisconsin's fate.

Was Cephus distracted by flashbacks to his dirty soirée with two white women last year? Or perhaps he was still a bit rusty, having been suspended from football for the 2018 season as a result. We tried to catch up with him after the game to get his view on this, but we're in northern California and the game was in southern California, so that wasn't possible.

"I'm thinking the better team didn't [sic] win, but the scoreboard says otherwise," commented one of UW's announcers after the game. "They [the UW] probably deserved to win this game," added his comic foil. Yeah, except not.

So what does football have to do with Hoofer Sailing? Both are UW-Madison sports that seem to cultivate abusers among their ranks. Abusive individuals may also be drawn to sports-centric organizations like these where they can regularly make physical contact with others while not drawing too much attention to themselves.

Stay tuned for some breaking ice sailing news.