INTRODUCTION
The Hoofer Sailing Club is a premiere educational organization located at the Wisconsin Union, UW-Madison. Contrary to what you might expect, though, the de facto purpose of Hoofers is not to teach sailing but rather sociology. And unfortunately, it is not taught in a formal environment but by trial and error--and without supervision.
The development of political skills such as manipulation, misdirection, and defamation is strongly encouraged, and associated skills, e.g. misappropriation and "cooking the books" can be learned too. The sailing wrapper is used to this end, but any sociopolitical environment would suffice. Thus while it is certainly possible to learn to sail in Hoofers, you do so in an uncontrolled environment where self-designated "club leaders" are authorized to treat you as they please. It is much like a fraternity where hazing is explicitly allowed and where the faculty adviser is never around.BEASTS OF BURDEN
It's no coincidence that the club's largest boat* is painted like a cow. New members must pay a $200+ membership fee up front, and then they are slapped with a supposedly refundable work hours deposit, weekly social fees, special event fees, and other costs. Meanwhile, some 100 club "leaders" pay nothing at all, and many are actually paid by the club, i.e. by you and the vast herd of cash cows that comprise the general membership.
But wait, isn't this how the world operates..? People buy stuff, pay salaries to their employees, and so on, and the economy hums along, right? Yet, Hoofers is a club, not a service unit. The club's constitution requires that every club member be allowed to participate, including by teaching lessons on fleets they're qualified to sail.The problems stem from an active effort by the commodore and his cronies to subjugate the other 700 club members, even passing new rules to help themselves do this. A well established core of paid instructors (overseen by the BOC) helps to control ratings and access to the best boats, among other things. Hence a rule that potential instructors must be "hired". Isn't it enough to be a good sailor and teacher..? Not in Hoofers. Paid staff (as opposed to volunteers, i.e. unpaid club members) ensure a vested interest in maintaining the status quo from year to year. If you've got a cush job, you'll do whatever you can to keep it.
HOW TO GET IN ON THE FUN
Of course, everyone can't take advantage of everybody else at the same time (don't quote us on that--it may actually be possible in Hoofers). However, if you manage to stick around long enough, say three or four years, and if you're ambitious, you've got a chance of becoming a Hoofer Leader yourself. Then you'll have upwards of 700 club members to milk and abuse (not including other leaders and instructors).
Ultimately, it's the commodore who can and does do the most damage to the club because s/he has virtually no limitations on his authority. The commodore appoints all but one of the 20 other BOC (Board of Captains) members, and they know they're beholden to the commodore who can remove them on a whim. This happens periodically when a BOC member opposes questionable behaviour by the commodore. For details on how the club's predator-prey mechanism operates, see this page.COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS
For a couple hundred bucks, you can learn to sail dinghies and sailboards, and you won't run into trouble if that's all you want to do. But the club also has larger boats and yachts which are featured prominently in advertisements. The problems begin when you decide you want to sail those boats, too, because they are actually reserved for club leaders and their friends. According to the club's official website, anyone can join Hoofers and get rated on any boat. What they don't mention is that it can take 10 years to get rated on the most desirable boats--even if you can sail them masterfully after two.
Still not convinced? The new membership form is no longer referred to as a contract (as it was until 2007) but rather as an application because current club leaders might not actually let you join once they check out your college transcript, criminal record, and any dirty rumors they can dig up on you. It also states that even if you are allowed to join, your sailing privileges can be revoked for any reason at any time and that Hoofers can keep your money. Thus, if you join the club, find something wrong, and complain about it, it's adios and thanks for the $200 donation! Make sure to read the fine print before signing.
Hoofers prefers cash, but also accepts Visa, Mastercard, personal checks, cashier's checks, postal money orders, stocks, bonds, U.S. treasury notes, precious metals, unused stamps, and some foreign currencies. We're looking into the feasibility of taking Paypal, Bitcoin, and other cryptocurrencies. The more ways you can pay, the better!
Be sure to check out the rest of the Blog for more info!
*As of 2018, Soma was decommissioned (read: sold as scrap), but not for the reasons you might think.
