How to slander someone and get away with it

Say there's someone in the club you don't like--we'll call him "Bob" for lack of imagination--and you want to drive him out of the club. The "why" isn't important. Maybe he threatens your paid position, or maybe he's called for an investigation into an apparently unlawful conflict of interest in the club, or maybe you just don't like him. You're a Hoofer "leader", and he's just a schmuck. So, how to go about this while minimizing any potential harm to yourself..?

From the unpublished Hoofer Leader manual:

1) Send an email to the private BOC (Board of Captains) list asking if anyone saw "Bob" around late the other night.
2) Make sure to mention the vandalism that also occurred the other night (and make sure that some vandalism actually occurred!).
3) For good measure, send a short, second email asking if it's true that [fill in name of former instructor who will be hard to contact] had safety concerns about Bob.
4) Remind everyone how great last week's instructors' party was.

All done! Let the internet work its magic, and before you know it, everyone around will be giving "Bob" dirty looks and avoiding him as much as possible. Meanwhile, of course, Bob is wondering who really vandalized those boats....

Just another pretty face..?

Hoofer leaders are working frantically to get a photo-ID system implemented before the start of the 2009 season (see sample at right). Some of the older, single, male "club leaders" are particularly excited by this system's potential. That's because once everybody's photo is in the database, they can go through it after hours, checking for cute girls they'd like to pursue. Once those faces have names, it's a simple matter to find out (you guessed it--by scanning the database) when the objectives sign up for any lessons. After that, well, use your imagination.

Club leaders have been trying to get it up for years, and it looks like they might finally have the photo database in place. Of course, the vast majority of club members do not have access to the database (only about 10% do).

We question the need for photographs on Hoofer sailing club ID's. The club has had membership cards in the past, always without photos. Photos provide the incentive and opportunity (for some) to pursue devious ends (no pun intended).