WHO is Ian Walter?

And why is he so afraid? His infosheet displayed in Memorial Union shows Bucky Badger, not Ian Walter.

Is somebody after him..? Does he owe money to the syndicate? We don't know. All we know is that his flyer outside the restrooms doesn't show his photo while everyone else's does. That's silly because all anyone has to do to see Ian is go here: http://hoofersailing.org/?q=node/156

Hmm... that doesn't really look like Ian either.

The flyer concludes with "Ian is the model of what should be expected from any leader." As in, hiding his face..? Not the norm for HSC leaders to be sure.

NOTE: Due to the unusually early end to the sailing season due to the horrific weather, this post is the first in a series of employee profiles that will continue until the weather improves.

C-Cup report

It's been a fun week so far, with the winning team to be announced tonight. Also a special week with the 75th anniversary. Perhaps the strangest thing so far has been yesterday's "beer garden" right outside the clubhouse/Mendota lounge. It was standing room only--probably because all you could do was stand. No place to sit, and no more enjoying a beer under the canopy or anyplace else either.

The Union really likes this arrangement because they can keep an eye on us there with all the surveillance cameras. If anyone tries to leave the fenced-in area with a beer or give a beer away, they've gotcha. And there were enforcers everywhere--servers, guards, security, building managers, other paid losers checking wrist bands, etc. Susan Dibbell even made an appearance so she could provide Union director Guthier with a first hand report.

Anyway, gotta get moving here... we are leaving (by boat!) for the reception at Jo's within the hour. Well try to get some shots of the formal sail there. More later.

Cold sober

Comin' up, it's COMMODORE'S CUP July 18-26!

C-Cup '14 will have all kinds of fun including: sailing, urinating, throwing things, vomiting, mooning the Betty Lou, and... NO BEER.

Yes, read that again: NO BEER!

The plans were originally to have beer service, but this changed due to the new rules which are starting to get really annoying. As explained now on the C-Cup Facebook page:

"There will be no beer service this year as our budget cannot pay to have paid security at our event."

Wow. Some of you already new that, but this is a landmark event--a sea change in HSC operations. Of curse, you can walk back and forth to the Terrace and get beer, but that just ain't the same. What kind of party is it when you have to run to the nearest bar every time you want another cup of beer..? Aack.

Hey you! Lemme see that water bottle!

Carologue

Check out this Hoofer blog written by Carol -----. Long-time Hoofers will know who she is since she used to be very involved in the clubs. Her post is a bit off-the-wall, with some, er, colorful language, but it contains some very interesting stuff (and links). We really like some of her terms: scheme, power structures, horrific, and kafkaesque.

It might be a good idea to post any comments here as well as on her blog which she may or may not still be checking.

Guthier's wet dream

We often slam HSC in this forum just because there's so much crap going on that deserves to be criticized. But this time we agree with this recent discussion started by Erin Luken about the Union's new alcohol policy. Also this thread (be sure to expand comments).

The new policy basically prohibits any and all alcohol at Hoofers except for beer sold through catering (with their great selection and pricing). This "prohibition" even includes beer/alcohol on boats, even on keelboats on Friday and Saturday night! We know they are serious because of all the alcohol monitors, building managers, etc on patrol at Pirate's Day. The new policy is Nazi bullshit. Why?

1. Wisconsin has a tradition of drunkenness, ranking #1 in the U.S. in binge drinking, #1 in heavy drinkers (ref2), #5 in beer consumption. and at or near the top in total alcohol consumption. The Union director is from Indiana so he doesn't understand this. (And that beer ranking is a little hard to believe too--we must be higher than that.)

2. Wisconsin is #1 in drunk driving and is the only state where first-time drunken driving is not a crime (alt ref). This means we can handle our liquor.

3. Alcohol tastes good, especially mixed with other kinds of alcohol. (Iced tea anyone?)

As a longtime HSC member, I am personally offended that management believe we can't handle our liquor. Do they expect us to sail sober? Even on a Monday or Tues afternoon lesson, there is usually beer on board. This is because alcohol helps protect against sunburn and skin cancer if you forgot your sunscreen (which is likely if you've been drinking). What right does the UW have to endanger students' health and safety by making us go out without protection?

As I type this, I'm looking at a red and white cooler under the next desk.... it is opaque. Huh.

Hoofer Haven

In a recent email to J-sailors, our illustrious fleet captain (a convicted felon?) wrote:

"Your instructor will check to see that you have done these hours before logging your new rating."

He claims that paid instructors have to do 3 work hours before getting any J ratings--just like everybody else--and then another 3 to maintain their fleet ratings each year.

Having been an instructor for several years now, I can confirm that instructors do not have to do J work hours to maintain their J ratings each year. They may technically be required to, but guess who enforces that rule..? There is nothing wrong with the requirement itself--it's a good one in that it helps promote involvement (of a sort) by club members. What irks me and others is the duplicity of BOC who claim they have to do those work hours too. Then they'll tell about all the other work they supposedly do for the club... like getting hammered at BOC meetings twice a month, and pier-in. Woo hoo.

As for having ex-cons on the BOC, I for one am all about second chances, but abusing and harassing innocent people while at the same time allowing ex-cons to run HSC just isn't right. In Jeff's defense, there are other felons working at the Union and Hoofers too, as well as some ex-employees.

fel·on ¹ (fĕl′ən)
n.
1. Law One who has committed a felony.
2. Archaic An evil person.

Note that you don't have to be convicted of a felony to be considered a felon; all you have to do is to have committed a felony. Many people get away with their crimes--especially State employees.

On a related topic, the website notes the increase in membership prices this season (except for instructors and their buddies, of course, who still get free memberships) and states:

"we will be increasing our Summer and Annual memberships rates on June 1, 2014 by only $10 for students and $15 for Union and Faculty/Staff."

Yet, on the membership page, the Union member rate is going from $295 to $315. That's $20 guys, not 15. Maybe you should take a break from texting during math class next fall. Note that membership rates are in effect going up an additional $5 because the deposit refund is being reduced from $65 to $60 (not that anyone gets their deposit back anyway.)

Blue Water Cruising

Finally some good news. On Sunday and Mon evenings, former commodore Pam Wall gave a nice slide-show presentation on her six year cruise around the world with her family. Much of the Sunday talk was friendly banter with the 25-30 people who attended, padded with sailing 101 stuff, e.g. "connect the halyard to the sail before raising it". Of course, if you're cruising across the Pacific solo and start cranking up a halyard with nothing attached to it, you could be in trouble...

Talking about their cruising equipment, e.g. sewn canvas dodgers (to keep water out of the hatches), mast steps (for climbing the mast), running lights mounted high up by the lifelines, using the whisker pole for wing-on-wing, etc, Pam said: "None of this stuff was our idea. This is all from looking at other boats and seeing what works."

Indeed, much of it is just common sense.

A better source for info on cruising equipment, rigging, safety at sea, and emergency conditions is Royce's Sailing Illustrated. There are lots of books out there on sailing, but Royce's is the only one that's a must-have (see sample page at right—picked especially for Hoofers! :) Known as "the sailor's bible", it puts the U.S. Sailing books (e.g. Basic Keelboat, Bareboat Cruising, etc.) to shame. And those are not bad books.

Leakage

Overheard on lakefront earlier today (Sat Apr 12):

"So no one who went on the Florida spring break cruise is getting their deposit back?? It's not my fault that line got wrapped around the prop... I was the bartender, not the skipper!"

APRIL 16 UPDATE: Well, it turns out our source was apparently on the least-damaged boat of the four that made the trip. About all they did was clog up their head. However, according to our source (via his/her sources), the other three boats managed to:

--tear two trampolenes (cost: up to $2000 apiece)
--break a set of lazy jacks ($200 with labor)
--wrap fishing line around a prop, damaging the seal ($500-1000 repair)
--and burning up the starter and/or the transmission ($5000+ repair)

The latter sounds like it might require taking the engine out of the boat, which would likely result in someone else having their charter cancelled, leading to more costs. All in all, ten grand in damages--give or take a few general memberships. Now we can see why Risk Management wanted nothing to do with HSC's new FL cruises.

So, this year's spring break cruise, while not a total disaster like the 1993 cruise, was a moderate f--k up. Something of a Grundl, ya might say.

APRIL 25 UPDATE: Couldn't stand to look at Grundl in natural color anymore, so now he's fixed!

Kiss the ground!

Special to the blog--Woo hoo, we're alive!! And back in the US of A! What a week it was. Not too eventful other than bar-hopping and sailing, although someone got hurt on one of the other boats from what I hear... not sure whether it was sailing-related.

We had a glorious ride back with a nice southeasterly(?) wind. Last weekend, the wind was more or less from the same direction, but since we were going the other way it was unfortunately a rougher ride.

Check out the photos at right taken a few days ago in the Bahamas. You may recognize some of those characters. And I couldn't believe how squeamish some people were about eating conch. I will post more soon. Right now we are about to leave for the frozen tundra!

Hoofer Ham Slam!

Hoofer Sailing spring break cruises are officially back! This time around, thinly disguised as a sort of lesson, albeit an expensive one ($1000 or so incl. transportation).

"Come learn to sail, get a tan and have one of the most epic spring breaks ever!" Is getting wasted in the Bahamas epic? The flyer should say "Get hammered, get drunk, and get shitfaced--while sailing." For those who haven't put 2+2 together, the start of Hoofer ASA (Alcoholics Sailing Anonymously) classes several years ago were a lead-up to this.

As former commodore/crook Nate Salowitz put it (or was that Ras..?), Slamma in Bahama! In modern Hoofer lingo, that would translate as "ham-slam", or maybe "slammed and then hammed", depending on your sex.

You can find info on the trip here. I especially like this FAQ:

Q: Will I always be able to see land?
A: When crossing the gulf stream it will be very difficult to see Miami or the Bahamas for just a short period of time.

"Very difficult" for a "short period of time"..? In fact, it will be impossible for most of the voyage. Once you're about 12 miles offshore, the Miami skyline is gone, lost over the edge of the Earth's curvature. The water is 3000 ft. deep, and there are sharks down there. Big, hungry mako and tiger sharks. It seems trip organizers are trying to lure people into signing up by making it sound safe. Newbies should worry more about getting seasick while motorsailing and about the general [in]competence of the organizers. The last HSC spring break trip to Florida ended in disaster 21 years ago.

You can calculate how fast a boat sinks here.

And don't bother emailing Fun in the Sun Yacht Charters in Ft. Lauderdale to warn them about Hoofers. They've been chartering to Hoofer members for years and don't seem to care when boats get damaged. They just collect the insurance money (and your deposit).