Hoofer Sailing spring break cruises are officially back! This time around, thinly disguised as a sort of lesson, albeit an expensive one ($1000 or so incl. transportation).
"Come learn to sail, get a tan and have one of the most epic spring breaks ever!" Is getting wasted in the Bahamas epic? The flyer should say "Get hammered, get drunk, and get shitfaced--while sailing." For those who haven't put 2+2 together, the start of Hoofer ASA (Alcoholics Sailing Anonymously) classes several years ago were a lead-up to this.
As former commodore/crook Nate Salowitz put it (or was that Ras..?), Slamma in Bahama! In modern Hoofer lingo, that would translate as "ham-slam", or maybe "slammed and then hammed", depending on your sex.
You can find info on the trip here. I especially like this FAQ:
Q: Will I always be able to see land?
A: When crossing the gulf stream it will be very difficult to see Miami or the Bahamas for just a short period of time.
"Very difficult" for a "short period of time"..? In fact, it will be impossible for most of the voyage. Once you're about 12 miles offshore, the Miami skyline is gone, lost over the edge of the Earth's curvature. The water is 3000 ft. deep, and there are sharks down there. Big, hungry mako and tiger sharks. It seems trip organizers are trying to lure people into signing up by making it sound safe. Newbies should worry more about getting seasick while motorsailing and about the general [in]competence of the organizers. The last HSC spring break trip to Florida ended in disaster 21 years ago.
You can calculate how fast a boat sinks here.
And don't bother emailing Fun in the Sun Yacht Charters in Ft. Lauderdale to warn them about Hoofers. They've been chartering to Hoofer members for years and don't seem to care when boats get damaged. They just collect the insurance money (and your deposit).
Sunday, January 19, 2014
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