Sailing toward oblivion

With so much off-topic stuff lately, I have to at least try to make this sound like it relates to Hoofers.

The subject line refers to the oblivion for lower and middle class Wisconsinites that will result if Chancellor Biddy Martin is successful in her efforts to separate UW-Madison from the UW system--which, it turns out, have been going on for quite awhile, probably since she took over as chancellor. Martin's intent is to privatize UW-Madison so that tuition and fees can be raised at will, with no more interference by the state. Martin also wants to be able to downsize (or terminate) any professors (and departments) who aren't raking in the big grant money. Hello Art, Anthropology, and Philosophy!

The more you read about Martin's plan, the creepier it gets. For example, her secret New Year's memo to Gov. Walker listing her goals which at their base include a 20% (or higher) tuition hike over the next two years.

Martin herself states: "The goal would be to keep tuition increases under double digits." Well, we all know that goals are rarely met, so we can expect tuition hikes of at least 10% per year if Martin succeeds in her "New Badger Partnership" plan. They're already rising at 9%, or four times the rate of inflation (between 2002 and 2010, tuition and fees more than doubled while inflation, cumulatively, was just 21%). This publication lists UW-Madison's annual tuition over the past 20 years and compares it to the CPI (consumer price index).

Indeed, all Martin talked about in her Madison Magazine interview last fall was raising tuition as much as possible! Here is a much more comprehensive (and scary) website on her whole privatization plan. And for the legal-minded, here's an interesting side-by-side comparison of existing law, Martin's plan, and the UW System's counterproposal, the "Wis. Idea Partnership".

In short, Martin's belief is that if people can't afford to attend UW-Madison regardless of the cost, then they probably shouldn't be going to college anyway.

Live and let die--Wisconsin style

More semi-off-topic news, but there's not much going on at Hoofers this time of year, and this is incredible....

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) has proposed doing away with Medicare and Medicaid. Incredibly, in the same bill, he proposes substantially cutting taxes for the very rich. So let's get this straight.

Ryan wants to toss the poor (along with their children), the disabled, and the elderly under a bus while grabbing their cash (before they land under the bus) and giving it to the rich people who donated to his campaign. Oh, and Ryan also wants to get rid of food stamps. The words blatantly and outrageous come to mind.

It's obvious that Ryan is trying to make a name for himself, but threatening tens of millions of Americans is a strange way to do it. In any case, it's the same as in Hoofers: when you're in a position of authority, and lacking any moral compass, try whatever you think you can get away with.

April Fools

Winter is baaaack, making sailing seem as far away as ever, so to lighten things up, here's a list of Wisconsin's "10 favoritemost sports" based on observations accumulated over the course of many years:

1. Gambling. It's a great way to make an easy buck.
2. Chipmunk Hockey--using a small roadkill as the puck.
3. Hunting. Wisconsinites will shoot anything that moves.
"THIS AD PAID FOR BY DICK'S GUNS, BAKERY, AND BAIT SHOP."
4. Farting a tune. Required to graduate the 8th grade in Wisconsin.
5. Mud Wrestling--fully clothed. Wisconsinites don't like to show off their fat bodies (and usually it's two men fighting over beer or gambling debts).
6. Jello Slurping. It's a great source of protein too! And try this variation: jello made from pureed deer meat. (believe it)
7. Motorboating. Lucky there are no manatees in Wis. lakes.
8. Animal Love. Some Wisconsinites will pork anything that has antlers and fits in the trunk.
9. Ice Fishing. It's exciting because you never know when you're gonna fall through!
10. Bowling. It's indoors, doesn't require any exertion, and doesn't take any brains... what more could ya ask for? "Now an official part of Commodore's Cup!"

And what about sailing..? Although it is popular around Hoofers, motorboats outnumber sailboats in Madison by a ratio of more than 10 to 1. Of course, Wisconsin's very favorite pastime is watching the Packers, but sitting in a stadium isn't quite a sport.

NOTE: this blog does not condone any of these "sports" or much of the other stuff that goes on around Hoofers and throughout Wisconsin.