What $20 million buys you

The new Hoofer area is now open! Well, some of it is, though much is still undergoing final touch-up. It looks like the friendly confines of the old Hoofers have been replaced by a xenophobic maze of locked doors and security cameras--a "Hoofers for the 21st century". The photo montage shows some interior views superimposed on a shot of the outdoor facade.

A quick tour reveals a labyrinth of halls and closed doorways. Surveillance cameras dot the ceiling (there are five in the front office alone--has someone been pocketing the cash?!), and electronic locks secure most doors. They've gotcha coming and going now. One-way glass lets people inside keep an eye on people outside while all the latter see is their own reflection. Our latest info is that the new Hoofer area, when complete, will sport 50 (fifty) surveillance cameras. OMG. Who's on first?

Diagnosing the infection

In honor of the traditional Annual Instructor Party, and in honor of our previous post below explaining how we are better than you, and in honor of Tom Barry who invented the funky monkey award, we're sharing our favorite page from the HSC Instructor Manual (at right). This is a secret document not available to general club members. Instructors are actually warned not to show it to non-instructors. Why?

Because it tells about some of the secret parties, trips, and other goodies that only instructors get to enjoy (at your expense). We're even discouraged from inviting our boyfriends/girlfriends and BOC members. It's only for HSC instructors. All 60-80 of us.

I like how it says sailing seasons are measured by how good the instructor parties are! (weekly parties that aren't even open to 90% of club members). Not by how many ratings were given out, or how few injuries there were, or how many keelboats were donated, or anything like that. But by how good the private parties were.

I especially like Jim Rogers' comment about the ANNUAL PARTY (again, only for instructors), otherwise known as Instructor Weekend Off:

"If the club disintegrates without us, who cares?"

That's a non-sequitor, Jim. The instructors are the club! Duh. Everybody else are just paying customers.

NOTE: Dave Elsmo (or maybe Borko) removed that rather obnoxious line from the newer manuals, but nothing has actually changed.