Given the current state of affairs, we ask that Hoofer Sailing Club members and anyone else hanging around the Hoofer area please adhere to the following guidelines until such time that in-person classes may resume:
1. No more sharing of liquor bottles or beer bongs. From now on all alcohol shall be squirted, sprayed, or hosed directly into the mouth using a club-approved device.
2. No more intimate acts in the men's bathroom/locker room.
3. No more sushi or other raw meat in the office.
4. Happy St. Patty's Day!
NOTE: B.O.C. and instructors are of course exempt from the above rules.
WHERE is our commodore in this time of crisis? Does he have a plan to deal with the corona beer virus? Has he a plan for returning our beloved Techs to their past glory? It's also his job (not ours) to inform membership of the passing of beloved instructors.
Coincidentally, with spring break and the corona virus upon us, it's nearly time to hire, er, vote for a replacement commodore. You'll have to do this online, like everything else these days. In addition, the "town hall" event originally scheduled for March 27 has been cancelled. We are working on a virtual meeting that could be held online (that way you can only catch a computer virus). The way things are looking, with the cancellation or indefinite postponement of the NBA and major league baseball seasons, the whole 2020 sailing season may end up being online.
Are you interested in dealing with [stuff] like this..? Do you crave power? Do you enjoy abusing others? If so, then nominate yourself as commodore! Better yet, have someone else do it for you (that will look better than nominating yourself). It's not too late despite what the club's official website says.
Some benefits of becoming Hoofer Sailing Club commodore:
• a $6,000 annual stipend! (that sure covers inflation--just a few years ago it was $1,000)
• a $400 Wiscard allowance! ($50/mo for the school year)
• a FREE lifetime membership to HSC (and the Wis. Union)!
• It's a resume builder (although I'd be wary of using that, given Hoofers' slide in recent years)
Other benefits (not listed on the website for obvious reasons):
• The power to abuse others, including your enemies.
• Immunity from prosecution for any crimes you commit.
• First pick of hot new (or naïve) female club members.
• You'll be able to track down those hotties at home using the club's own database--and you'll be able to do it without leaving a trace! (the commodore is one of just a handful of people who have superuser access.)
Does that sound like a stretch? Many other officials who are charged with enforcing the rules instead violate the public trust and use their position of authority for personal gain, stalking, etc. Past HSC commodores and head instructors have committed crimes and regularly ignore the rules.
And that big fat stipend is obviously one reason why membership costs have outpaced inflation in recent years.
So don't just sit around chugging beers. Help HSC and the Union twist young minds into a lifetime of crime! Apply now for the paid position of Hoofer Sailing Club commodore!
Okay pig.....what makes it okay for YOU to put out on this blog that I am dead? Do you NOT have even a shred of the things that are inappropriate to flaming say?
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess you do not. And THAT speaks VOLUMES to the manner in which you deal with the so-called topics, most of which are distorted to support your snide, ignorant theories.
But hey, thanks for alarming everyone that I was DEAD and that Hoofers was supposed to tell everyone.
Newsflash for you and you five readers. QUIT spreading rumours that Sutton is dead, Okay? I had to move away from the city because I am allergic to what is in the lake that you complain about, and yet to my eye, have never organized any sort of activity to help clean?
You are full of lies and half truths. our falling number of readers points that out. But this is notice to you that ANYTHING you report on my so-called death, shall not be done again.
You get that, Pea Brain? Damn, it must have been agony to have your parents nurture and raise you and care for you, so that you could turn into THIS?
Screw the warning.....I am going to the police today. Because you've no flaming RIGHT to tell lies to your readers, who then tell them to people who care about me......causing them great emotional harm. Idiot.
Sutton
By "pig" are you addressing the blog admins? It sure looks that way. We certainly didn't post that comment--some idiot did, anonymously.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the costs of a free society--sometimes people will do things they wouldn't be able to do in China, Russia, North Korea, or Iran. Evidently you're on the side of tightening up security, adding more surveillance cameras, tracking what everyone does online, etc. That's too bad, but it's a creeping reality these days for what's left of America. As I recall you (Sutton) are originally from Canada, so maybe you don't quite understand what it means to be American (in your defense, neither do a lot of Americans).
Anyway, we're leaving your rant up because of its content (you falsely accuse us of posting that comment claiming you were dead). Next time a simple request for retraction would suffice. Meanwhile, we have removed that comment on our previous post. I agree it's idiotic to post something like that in the first place, but maybe someone thought you were "dead" because you disappeared from Hoofers.
A few weeks ago one of my roommates was dead to the world the morning after we went bar hopping until 2 AM...
But wait a second. Most of this applies to the person that YOU were. Or are now.
ReplyDeleteThis post is ridiculous, people don't sit around hoofers drinking beer or liquor.
ReplyDeleteWe need a commodore who will bring back that aspect of club life!
How about a topic such as: Time to Replace Head of Instruction? I would like to see an active Club Member take on this role. Too much of our Club's heritage is being lost every day. What made Hoofers unique is being burned and buried. Time to stop bawling and get busy. Who can we nominate?
ReplyDeleteIt's a good idea but it seems would have to be a Boc member, as an official motion would be needed to hire a new HOI. Right now most people think there are just a handful of complainers who don't like Dave for some reason. But its not even clear to me the Boc can hire/fire the HOI any more.
ReplyDeleteTalk to former commodores who know what is being lost, especially from the old days. Most club members are only around a couple years, and they never sailed a Tech or drank a beer on the lakefront, or went on a sunset or kb cruise, or sailed to the edgewater for commodores cup, they never do anything but sail a plastic dinghy and eat brats on Friday night.
That of course is the union's plan for hoofers. Make it like every other college sailing club.
Head of Instruction is like being on the US Supreme Court: Lifetime Appointment?
ReplyDeleteWhat if the HOI develops syphilis and the spirochetes have been corkscrewing in his brain for too long and he becomes the Mad King of Hooferdom? Is there some little known codicil in the WI laws that allow removal for a medical condition?
BTW, nothing against people with severe venereal diseases. Just using as an example.