JUNE 4 UPDATE: Pirate's Day 2019 has been postponed until August 24 due to the total lack of piers. Who wants to bet Commodore's Cup will also be postponed? PD after C-Cup would be very odd in any case. Note that "If you are removed from the event due to behavioral misconduct, a refund will not be given." Behavioral misconduct? In Hoofers..? Aww, c'mon.
Do you desperately need a job? Are you willing to work for a pittance? Do you get off on harassing people? If you answered "yes" to all three of these questions, then we have a job for you!
The Wisconsin Union is hiring for various summer positions, including dishwasher and building manager. Student building manager is a highly coveted position that not only pads your resume (if your career objective is to be a bouncer or a prison guard) but authorizes you to harass people at will. You'll get your kicks by: carding anyone who looks underage (read: cute chicks and their boyfriends), ordering people to take their non-Union food elsewhere, telling people you don't like to leave, and calling the police to come and harass people professionally. Be the enforcer on the Terrace!
It's too bad some people are so shallow and petty, but not everyone has what it takes to become a scientist or engineer.
And it gets even better.... Student positions are now paying an extra 0.50/hr. Yes, you read that correctly--that's 50¢ over and above our normal low wage! You won't get rich, and it won't pay your tuition, but fifty cents will buy you a piece of bubble gum, half a candy bar, or a postage stamp! (Does this offer include sailing instructor positions? We're not sure.)
For comparison, the Union director's salary is $160,000 per annum. Holy greenbacks, Batman! For you non-engineers, that's 320,000 times the 50¢ bonus.
So apply now and join the brotherhood of Wisconsin Union staff! Sailing instructor applications are here. Note that sailing instructor offers some of the same perks as building manager, e.g. authority and immunity to mess with people you don't like.
In other news, the estate of Yu Chen finally filed suit this week against the UW Rescue employees responsible for his death.
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I for one hope that the cover-up and obstruction of justice at Hoofers and at the White House are ignored so that our local and national illiberal democracies can continue to thrive and grow.
ReplyDeleteMan up yee scalliwags! Pirate's Day is coming. Shiver me timber and puff on mee pipe. Arrrgggg.
ReplyDeleteFloating piers getting installed in time for the first ever Pirate's Day at Tong Family Marina! I wish people would be more positive and celebrate this generous gift and much needed upgrade. Change happens and this is going to be great!
ReplyDeleteThe new kiddy boats look neat-o! Should help the Hoofer Youth be even more profitable than ever.
ReplyDeleteJun 8th, 2019 - BEACH PARTY AT HOOFERS!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately due to the marina construction taking longer than expected Pirate's Day had to be post-poned until August 24th.
We are going to make lemonade out of these lemons by throwing a Beach Party on June 8th free for all our members!! We will have a steel drum band and food included along with some fun games and competitions. Come join the fun and see the progress on the lakefront!
If you are interested in getting in on Keelboat sailing this summer, just prior to our Life's a Beach Party the keelboat fleets are holding an Intro to Keelboats Clinic from 12:00 pm - 3:00 pm. Signup on the lessons site https://lessons.hoofersailing.org/event/69694
Lawks a mercy! That floating dock is a funhouse ride. New contest for Hoofers will be ride the bucking bronco while securing your boat during a Red Flag! The seagulls and ducks will need seatbelts.
ReplyDeleteGod, its like Liberal logic. "Noone who questions global warming is a scientist, therefore 98% of scientists (give or take 2%) agree it is real! Noone may disagree with the new piers therefore ALL hoofers are united and noone voices what will happen because we gave noone a voice!
ReplyDeleteAnon above. What are you trying to say? I may be a fitshaced Shailor but we may have to take away your beer bracelet.
ReplyDelete