Hoofers looking to marry ASA

The push to join the American Sailing Association (ASA) continues. Hoofer Sailing club is desperate to find a way to streamline its chaotic and foundering keelboat program. It seems those kb instructors also want to get paid even though club rules don't allow it.


We see several problems with Hoofers marrying up (and the problems are mostly for the ASA):

(1) Hoofer leaders include too many rump-humping yahoos who like to play bumper boats, blow out spinnakers, and even sink boats. And they normally do it drunk. Nothing is going to change Wisconsin's alcoholic culture, but it could affect the reputation of the ASA.

(2) Hoofers is run by criminals, not the least of whom is Hoofer Coordinator Jim Rogers. A formal relationship could have repercussions for the ASA.

(3) Over the past decade, several leading club members tried on several occasions to make the keelboat program more rigorous and were laughed out of the room each time. Now Hoofer keelboaters are looking for outside help?

(4) Hoofers is located on tiny Lake Mendota, so the only courses that could even be taught here are ASA 101 (Basic Keelboat) and perhaps 119 (Weather). Even 101 is iffy because it requires "moderate winds and sea conditions" and L. Mendota never gets moderate sea conditions, only rarely getting waves of more than one foot. Only during thunderstorms do we get bigger waves, but then the red flag goes up!

(5) All other ASA courses are clearly out, e.g. coastal cruising, bareboat chartering, etc.

Which begs the question: What is the real motivation for wanting ASA affiliation? It can't be to teach ASA classes because only a handful could even be taught here. Is it to justify paying keelboat instructors..? There is a long tradition of not paying them since Hoofers is (in theory) a volunteer-run club, not a sailing service. At least the kb program can take pride in abiding the club's constitution, while the rest of the club cannot. Now the keelboaters want to do an about-face!? Or are they hoping to standardize and validate Hoofers' ridiculously erratic program? That was already tried in the past and failed utterly.

We suspect certain club leaders have had trouble getting approved to charter and figure easy ASA ratings would be the best way to fix that problem.

March 8 update: You never can tell whether Hoofers are serious or not. Check out this flowchart of the proposed ASA program. It looks like maybe they're joking after all.