Welcome to Madison...when are you leaving?

JULY '18 UPDATE: People criticize us for criticizing Hoofers and Wisconsin in general--this blog post, for example (see comment below). Well, here's a recent article in The Isthmus revealing that the founder of Hoofers and first director of Memorial Union, Porter Butts, was a member of the KKK. That certainly helps to explain some things. One can only wonder what other embarrassments will come out in the future.

DEEP IN THE HEART OF WISCONSIN, where fat high school dropouts hunt infected deer for entertainment, lies the former liberal stronghold of Madison. The best thing about Madison today is that lots of roads lead out of town. No longer mentioned in the same breath with Berkeley, CA, Madison has recently seen the closing of its oldest food co-op (Mifflin) and the conversion of its largest radio station to a Rush Limbaugh-pumping propaganda machine. Even worse, Madison's progressive daily newspaper, the Capital Times, was finally forced to turn off its presses in 2008—even as the more conservative Wisconsin State Journal kept going. The state's largest university is here, too, and can't help but be affected by the slide into mediocrity and conservatism.

Hidden on the northeast end of campus is the Hoofer Sailing Club, the largest and perhaps most discriminatory collegiate sailing club in the country (if not the world). The club discriminates based on race, religion, and anything else they think they can get away with. If you're a hip, good-looking, 21-year-old white guy (or girl), though, don't worry--you won't have any trouble. Club leaders typically sprout from among the large campus Greek system, and it's from there that they apparently learn how to treat people who are different. UW-Madison fraternities are known for their exclusionary practices. In recent years, several UW-Madison frats have been disbanded for racial activities--one for throwing a "blackface" party and another for holding a mock "slave" auction! (see NY Times article.)

Guys, it's not the 1940s anymore.

Amazingly, racism still thrives along Langdon Street (and in Hoofers) in 2011. But then, whaddya expect in a place (Madison) where most of the students are redneck white boys who grew up in towns like Green Bay, La Crosse, and Eau Claire where the black population is 1% or less..?

Campus frats are also known for their degrading treatment of women. Any female undergraduate who ends up on Langdon St. after bartime is liable to find a roofie in her drink. After that, of course, anything can happen (most of it illegal). As in Hoofers, the objective is not to correct serious behavioral problems like date rape, but rather is to protect your buddies at any cost.

Incredibly, this criminal mentality extends all the way from lowly Hoofers through Wis. Union administration to the UW-Madison Chancellor's office and beyond--even to the district attorney's office and the circuit court. All of the aforementioned are State of Wis. employees, and they've got eachother's backs. The more you question or complain about things, the worse it will be for you because the law doesn't apply to state employees.

Hoofers is proud to help keep the Wisconsin Tradition alive. The sailing club's favorite tactic for abusing unpopular club members is to start vicious rumors about them. That's easy when you have private e-mail lists set up for club leaders and instructors. In effect, that lets others do the abuse for you. For example, start a rumor that someone is dangerous and pretty soon no one will want to sail with them. If nothing else, they sure won't get hired to teach lessons. Or you could start a rumor that someone's been vandalizing club equipment. That won't make them any more popular. The club keeps lists of dirt on people they don't like, passing it to current club leaders as necessary. It doesn't matter if any of it is true because the target will never find out. One good way to put yourself on the radar real quick is by asking to see some of those emails--when you're not a current club leader or instructor.

At any rate, if you feel you just have to sail this year and just have to do it at Hoofers, keep the following in mind. If you do join "the club", keep your mouth shut and take what's offered. Maybe a dinghy rating will be enough for you (although half of all club members never even get that).