Infected Mushroom

Welcome to the 2024 sailing season! We're posting this today in honor of the amazing weather and wind we've been having lately, especially today. Most boats are already in the water although a few are not, but then it's still only June. Keep in mind that the water is still cold, with dangerous upwellings that are cold enough to kill, despite some very warm days recently. We also have a new HOI and lessons are underway.

A quick refresher for the partiers: NO alcohol is allowed on Hoofer boats (wink-wink). If you're caught with beer on board, well, just don't get caught. We were out on a [boat type redacted] in that great wind today (Saturday), and we didn't not have no beer on board. Anyway, beer doesn't kill--incompetent Union directors do, but there is still officially no beer allowed on Hoofer boats. Drugs? Yes. Beer, no.

Note that there is now a $200 work-hours deposit (which most of you will never see again). Of course, instructors and other preferred members don't have to pay a deposit. Only you the customer do.

With the season getting into gear, communication becomes more important than ever. Among other things, that means the club's email lists. You may need to be logged in to view or add comments.

There is also the keelboat list, but that appears to be dead in the water. In fact, the only posts over the past year have all been by Pete Mooney (see image)--not exactly what you would call "interaction" or a healthy exchange of ideas. Most of the posts aren't even about sailing--they're on off-topics like silent movies, folk concerts, sex organs, etc. The list's webpage (or is it here?) says "for Soma, Toy Boat, Decoy, Knotty Rascal and Spray..." Do we even still have any of those boats? One, maybe.

Facebook seems to be the preferred method of communication for club leaders, but as we all know Facebook is in its death throes and is a mediocre alternative. The anal wet dream of billionaire scumbag Mark Zuckerberg has just about run its course.

We strongly encourage the club's email lists for communication. Several are used regularly, some only sporadically, but they are the official venue for interaction and announcements. Check them out at the above link to the lessons site.

Speaking of communication, there haven't been any BOC minutes posted in over a year. How's that for pathetic, not to mention dereliction of duty? Nor has the club's website been updated to show current club leaders and instructors. It seems the webmaster has a free membership for nothing.

Of course, you can always use this blog for communication!

And who was that fetching young (not!) Treat Williams-lookalike with the blonde 'do teaching windsurfing the other day? (see photo) Meeow....

JIMMER FOR HOI?!

MARCH 23 UPDATE: Still no official hiring of a new HOI, but word is that Gretchen might return. We hope so! (but not for the reasons you might think.) Face it, we're not going to get top talent for this job, so just pick someone already.

The opening for the vacant Hoofer Sailing Club Head of instruction (HOI) job has closed, with interviews ongoing. Apparently Jim Rogers has applied. He was HOI for more than 15 years (1989-2005) and is intimitaly familiar with the job and its duties, so why not re-hire him?!

Here's why. As a crook and a con artist (sound familiar?), Jim probably isn't the best choice for HOI. Like Donald Trump on a much smaller scale, Jim covets the job he held for so long because of the power and perks that come with it, e.g. the power to manipulate and abuse people, to enrich oneself, etc. That didn't seem to work out very well for Jim before, but as HOI, you're the big fish in a small pond. Nevertheless, despite being dug in like a north woods tick, Jim was removed from Hoofers in 2010 and reassigned to the furthest corner of the Union. He has since returned as a bored board instructor.

Incredibly, the only prerequisite for the HOI job is "Previous sailing experience". Nothing about managerial experience, teaching experience, certifications, etc. Yup, we're easy, and desperate because most people don't last long in the Hoofer Sailing HOI job.

The job has a somewhat sordid history. Jim Rogers we've discussed. Brian Borkovich, a.k.a. Borko, also committed crimes on the job, including voting to increase his own salary (that may not sound so bad, but it's actually a felony in Wisconsin). Tom Barry died on the job. Dave Elsmo moved on to become head of Hoofers, as did Rogers. The latest, whats-her-name, quit. It's almost as if the job attracts unscrupulous people, or at best individuals who are naïve.

With the right oversight, the HOI position could be a great learning development opportunity for students in management or similar fields. Unfortunately, such oversight has always been lacking at Hoofers and the UW. The BOC has some control, and used to have more, but they need even more oversight themselves.

Meanwhile, you have a chance to change all that and help make the HOI position respectable again! Oh wait, you don't--the application deadline has already passed. In any event, the club better hurry and pick someone because the application deadline to apply as a sailing instructor for 2024 is this Friday.

We hate to be so critical, but there are so many serious problems at the Wisconsin Union and Hoofers that it would be impossible to elaborate on all of them. This blog is only the tip of the iceberg.

From U.S. presidents on down to Hoofer instructors, including the HOI, corruption is ubiquitous among public employees. As a federal appeals court just ruled, even U.S. presidents are not immune from prosecution and punishment for crimes they commit. Neither are Hoofer employees, although most have managed to escape justice so far.

Ghosts of Hoofers Past

For those who never got to see it, the old Hoofer lounge was similar to the Mendota lounge, although smaller. But it was cozy, with wood paneling, carpeting, and a fireplace. What's left of it now is just sad, a half-assed museum exhibit designed by Union hacks. The coziness is all gone--it's a bloody hallway!--bums sleep there, and surveillance cameras track your every move (see photo).

Adjacent to the Lounge was the old Chart Room, with its wood floor, bookcases, charts(!), awards showcase, etc. Jim Rogers always disliked it because any club member could come in and browse books, magazines, and charts. He wanted the Hoofer library (and many other things) to be the private purview of his instruction staff... and now they are. After all, knowledge is power, and the more perks and favors you have to give out, the more you can get in return.

Hoofers is a case study in cronyism, just like the UW-Madison administration. How do we know the UW is plagued by cronyism and nepotism? Because if it weren't, they would do something about the rampant abuse in Hoofers.

In the new movie The Killer (2023), Michael Fassbender explains the human condition:

From the beginning of civilization, the few have always exploited the many. This is the cornerstone of civilization... Whatever it takes, make sure you're one of the few, not one of the many.

That could be the Hoofer motto. Many (900) customers, a.k.a. "club members", provide cash, romantic interests, and other pickins for the few (100) paid employees.

Eventually, of course, Rogers was out of a job--kicked out by the UW for inappropriate acts with minors. Various other individuals linger like a disease--going into remission, then popping up again in a relapse of mischief and malfeasance. Jim Rogers, Lukas Duddleston, Mills Botham, and others (who won't be named here). These crooks and operators misuse their position and/or popularity to benefit themselves and their buddies, or to solicit sexual partners (e.g. Louis Tenebruso --> Michaela Rabas, Carl Stenbol, Peter Grimmer, and many others). The fact that the BOC openly discuss how to misappropriate some $60,000 in deposits annually--and the almost total lack of interest in prosecuting this and other crimes perpetrated by club officers--reflects very poorly on the Union and UW. Most of them stick their heads in the sand, probably hoping that they won't be called out for their own misdeeds.

It's a top-down problem that starts with the crooked Union director, Mark Guthier, and the UW chancellor. The whole system is rotting. The Big Ten is now the Big 16--or is it 18 now? That's beyond ridiculous, but money and power are what it's all about. And you thought it was about sailing?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Hoofer Sailing Club!

Dog days after noon

The next few days are forecast to be the hottest in Madison in more than a decade and will approach record high temperatures.

With that in mind, the club is suspending the life-jacket-at-all-times-rule. If you get too hot on a lesson or day-sail, you may take off your .... ha, just kidding! Rules are rules and they must be obeyed. Only The Man has the power to suspend rules. That would be the man up on the 5th floor, with the small you-know-what. If you want to take off your life jacket because it's 95° out, too bad. If someone says you can take it off, be very cautious. You could be kicked out of Hoofers for doing that. We simply cannot allow rulebreakers.*

Better to get heat stroke than to stumble overboard, hit your head, and drown. Actually, heat stroke might just cause you to do that, so life jackets must be worn at all times. They help keep you warm in the fall too. And they smell good. They do not smell like mildew or urine or other people's sweat.

This rule comes straight from the top--from Wisconsin Union Director Mark Guthier. He probably hasn't worn a life jacket his entire life, but he doesn't want to take a chance on some dummy falling overboard and drowning (again), leading to another nasty communique from the chancellor. But you don't have to be a sexual tyranosaur to sit in an office and make up rules. You only have to feel the rush. It's hard to believe sailing is even still allowed here anymore, so I guess we should feel lucky.

At least the hot temps look to bring some decent wind for a few days. This August has already been better than average in that regard.

To help you determine whether to file a complaint against Hoofers or the UW, we've included the heat-exhaustion/heat-stroke chart above.

Note to HOI: Doublecheck that everyone who's been skippering Salom actually has a rating on that boat. That they got legitimately. Which hasn't been revoked. And from an instructor authorized to give them. There's been some very iffy boat handling and other minor screw-ups lately.

*Doesn't apply to BOC members, instructors, or their buddies.

We've been so busy dealing with spam comments from former instructor Daniel Sutton on our previous post that we couldn't post this until now. But worry not! The best of C-Cup is yet to come: The Commodore's Ball starts tonight around 8 PM! Best of all, the ball is open to almost anyone! So come on down (unless you're on the short list of unwelcome guests), get sloshed, and dance the night away. But don't get too hammered, because....

In the past, individuals have been known to take boats out on which they didn't actually have a rating. Hey, if you're a good sailor, why not grab a J-boat, or maybe even a T-10? Who will ever be the wiser? (unless they're on board with you.) We'll all be awash in alcohol well before midnight, so if you can still walk, as in walk down to the lakefront and operate a motorboat or a winch, then the fleet is your oyster!

Note that we in the syndicate do not recommend or condone such unruly behavior, but it has become something of a tradition for the close of C-Cup! Heck, if nothing else, just get yourself out to one of the keelboats and go for a swim. Be sure to snag an extra bottle of wine for that. It's only against the rules to drink on Hoofers boats if you're actually sailing!

Harvard This Ain't

With the boats back in the water and lessons posted for a new season, the darker side of Hoofer Sailing Club rears its ugly head again too. Misbehavior is present year-round, but it peaks in the summer months.

With the return of summer comes the return of crooks and con-artists who ensconse themselves in various Hoofer positions and operate with near impunity. Former Hoofer advisor Jim R., former commodore Lukas D, instructors like Georges Daniel S., and many others have broken the law while employed at HSC. We're not talking about violations of club rules--those happen all the time. We're talking about actual crimes and civil rights violations, not to mention other abuses, racism, etc.

Of course it's possible to violate club rules and the law at the same time, e.g. former commodore Peter Grimmer drinking beer on a J-boat in violation of club rules (and the law if he was under 21 at the time). Here is a funny article from a few years back that quoted him talking up the club.

"Sailing is often a rich, white person sport," Grimmer said. "It's almost like a fraternity or sorority."

Ha! Petey wasn't so dumb after all. (Note: If you can't see the whole article, just view the page source in your browser.)

Grimmer also boasted that "past Hoofer Sailing Club members have won Olympic gold medals, coached Olympic sailing teams and entered the Collegiate Sailing Hall of Fame at the US Naval Academy." What he didn't mention was that HSC employees have also committed crimes, everything from theft to slander to false police reports to sexual abuse to various white collar crimes (see the rest of this blog).

That's in addition to gross criminal negligence that led to the gruesome deaths of Hoofer sailors in 2015 and again in 2017.

The article also quoted former instructor Daniel Sutton as saying, "There is no race, culture or age demarcation at all (in HSC)." Alas, King Georgio never was very perceptive. There is, unfortunately, a big grey area for state employees, which all Hoofer employees are.

For example, is it a crime to grab a girl's butt in a crowd when she's not looking? Not if you ask LukasD. It's only a crime if you don't work for the state. What real harm was done anyway? She probably enjoyed it, even if she yelled "sexual assault!" right? Was it a crime for King George to make a false police report about someone he viewed as a competitor for the same woman he was interested in? Never mind that he was married and she was less than half his age, and taking lessons from him too. That's a dirty tactic well-known in some frats.

Was it a crime if he put his hand on a female student's shoulder as he stepped down into the cockpit, and let it "accidentally" slip down onto her chest..? Nothing you could likely prove. Is it a crime to relieve Hoofers of an outboard motor in the middle of the night? You bet. In Wisconsin, property is worth more than people.

With all that in mind, we've added a new button to the menu at right. Click on it to report any misbehavior you observe by HSC staff or other Wisconsin Union employees. It might seem alarmist, but Hoofer employees get away with far too many criminal acts. Slander in particular is widespread and difficult to catch. We are considering posting excerpts from some of the internal Wisconsin Union and other documents that we've obtained but will hold off on that for now.

And why not Harvard..? Because that's a private school and their employees have to follow the law. The UW, on the other hand, is a big state school and its employees seemingly can do whatever they f@cking please.