Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Dog days after noon

The next few days are forecast to be the hottest in Madison in more than a decade and will approach record high temperatures.

With that in mind, the club is suspending the life-jacket-at-all-times-rule. If you get too hot on a lesson or day-sail, you may take off your .... ha, just kidding! Rules are rules and they must be obeyed. Only The Man has the power to suspend rules. That would be the man up on the 5th floor, with the small you-know-what. If you want to take off your life jacket because it's 95° out, too bad. If someone says you can take it off, be very cautious. You could be kicked out of Hoofers for doing that. We simply cannot allow rulebreakers.*

Better to get heat stroke than to stumble overboard, hit your head, and drown. Actually, heat stroke might just cause you to do that, so life jackets must be worn at all times. They help keep you warm in the fall too. And they smell good. They do not smell like mildew or urine or other people's sweat.

This rule comes straight from the top--from Wisconsin Union Director Mark Guthier. He probably hasn't worn a life jacket his entire life, but he doesn't want to take a chance on some dummy falling overboard and drowning (again), leading to another nasty communique from the chancellor. But you don't have to be a sexual tyranosaur to sit in an office and make up rules. You only have to feel the rush. It's hard to believe sailing is even still allowed here anymore, so I guess we should feel lucky.

At least the hot temps look to bring some decent wind for a few days. This August has already been better than average in that regard.

To help you determine whether to file a complaint against Hoofers or the UW, we've included the heat-exhaustion/heat-stroke chart above.

Note to HOI: Doublecheck that everyone who's been skippering Salom actually has a rating on that boat. That they got legitimately. Which hasn't been revoked. And from an instructor authorized to give them. There's been some very iffy boat handling and other minor screw-ups lately.

*Doesn't apply to BOC members, instructors, or their buddies.