Saturday, October 1, 2022

Incredible Suckers

Like a fish flopping around on hot astroturf, Graham Mertz cocked his arm and threw from deep in Wisconsin territory. The ball was tipped, and caught!--by an Illini defender, and the crowd let out a collective gasp.

"Big time defense" was how radio announcer Matt Lepay characterized the play of the Illini, which led to a 34-10 loss for Wisconsin.

"The worst home loss that I can remember," was how another announcer characterized it. "The college football landscape has changed." It sure has. Northwestern is in first place now.

Last week's blowout at Ohio State was more or less expected, but to be embarrassed at home like this by Illinois? Where's that vodka bottle? I personally have never heard so many obscenities coming out of the mouths of Wisconsin fans after a game.

Illinois QB Tommy DeVito was 18/24 for a 75% completion rate, while Mertz was 17/32 for a paltry 53% completion rate, with two interceptions. The rushing attack was nonexistent: 16 total yards by Chez Mellusi, who is no Ron Dayne. He is more of a Nancy Drew, a dainty runner searching for holes that never appear. Maybe he can find a hole tonight. Actually, Ron Dayne is no Ron Dayne either, but he was great while he was at UW.

When the game was over, the Badgers had totaled 2 (two) net yards rushing because everyone else was going backward.

A 14-10 score at the half became an insurmountable 31-10 lead by late in the 3rd quarter. Illinois played like the home team, which isn't all that surprising considering that their head coach is former UW mastermind Bret Bielema.

Even Heach Coach Paul Chryst couldn't be honest in a postgame interview. At one point the interviewer asked him straight up: "Maybe some Badger players tried to play beyond their abilities..?" No comment.

"On paper, we should have beat them," said another announcer, still in denial. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, pretend that you did! Despite the embarrassing loss, the neighborhood is rocking with parties and the familiar Drink-drink-DRINK! Don't they realize their team just got slaughtered?

They do, but they don't care. As with the Brewers (link2), it's enough just to play the game as an also-ran. Win or lose, we're gonna get drunk afterward, especially when we lose, but the vibe is different--it's an even more enthusiastic binge tonight because there's nothing else to talk about, no gloating, no bragging about how great we are and how we just beat some other team in a meaningless football game.

It's drinking to get hammered, to forget. In the back of some people's minds may be a nagging concern, fading into an alcohol-induced haze: I hope at least the academics are good.

They're not. Although it was easy for Badger football to slide back into mediocrity, regaining the UW's former academic standing will be far more difficult, if not impossible. Former chancellors "Biddy" Martin, Blank Stare, and especially John D. Wiley emphasized sports over academics, and this is the result. It paid off for awhile with Rose Bowl appearances, but now we have a mediocre academic university and a mediocre football team.

Striving to excel has become a dirty word in Wisconsin. What's worse, no one has even bothered to ask the only ones who can provide the answer: the admins of this blog. There's really no need to ask--just explore the blog and you'll find out.

How does this all relate to Hoofers? It's baseline decay of The Wisconsin Idea, the inevitable result of having exceeded oneself. The motto "Sifting and winnowing" has come to mean winnowing out anyone who thinks differently (as a commenter noted on a previous post).

To some people, progress simply means change, and the randomness of things means that change will be for the worse as often as not. Just look at Hoofer Sailing. Guthier changed it, for sure.