Sunday, August 30, 2020

Losing her faculties

OCT 18 UPDATE-- Coronavirus is getting out of control in Wisconsin, probably due more to Republican interference than to Chancellor Blank stare.

SEPT 26 UPDATE-- Contrary to reason, Chancellor Blank stare has decided to reopen again despite skyrocketing Chinavirus cases statewide. SOMEONE PLEASE SUE THAT PSYCHOPATH.

SEPT 19 UPDATE--The curve continues to steepen, with an alarming 2,500+ new Chinavirus cases on Friday. That blows the old record--set Thursday--out of the water. Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, always a douche and now the UW system president, played down the significance, yet a week or so ago, 1,000 new cases/day was a record. This good article summarizes the issues. The article notes that Big Ten football is starting soon--despite 42 UW-Madison players and coaches having tested positive so far. Wtf? Are there even enough players left to field a team..? I guess we need football to keep all the stupid people from going insane.

Chancellor Blank stare: Please withdraw the UW from football this fall and don't even think about resuming in-person classes. Or, get Covid-19 yourself and disappear so someone with more common sense can take over. Thank you, The Syndicate.

SEPT 9 UPDATE-- As expected, the UW has abruptly switched to 100% online instruction, supposedly for two weeks only. Covid-19 cases at the UW were going exponential after just one week of classes. This sucks because the UW is one of the top party schools--who wants to come here and not party? Partying with a creepy mask on is no fun, though (except on Halloween). Oddly, administrators continue to tout "contact tracing" as some sort of solution--but contact tracing is the most ridiculous waste of human resources since World War II. Anyway, the last chance to party has passed! Before you leave, consider swinging by Bascom to give Chancellor Blank stare a big hug and kiss goodbye!

SEPT 4 UPDATE-- Well whaddya know? Just three days into the semester, 420 UW-Madison students have been quarantined: all members of nine fraternities and sororities, 38 of whom just tested positive. Do you think those frat boys are going to stay in their rooms for the next 14 days? Nope. By next week, all 420 will have the virus, along with every other fraternity and sorority--and hundreds of other students and staff. Bye-bye semester. "Our goal is to stop any further spread of the virus among our students and the community," said Jake Baggott, director of University Health Services. Stop any further spread..? Is Baggott a moron, or did he say that on orders from the chancellor? Containing the burgeoning epidemic on campus at this point is like trying to put two dozen live grasshoppers back into a jar after someone removes the lid. In theory it might be possible... but it ain't gonna happen. Now, there's nothing you can do but run. City officials must be beside themselves.

MADISON, AUG 30-- With the sailing season a total loss, fall classes are set to start this Wednesday despite the ongoing pandemic. What fun it will be! Everyone required to wear creepy face masks in class, and whenever you're inside any campus building. All food pre-wrapped, with the virus sealed inside for you! No football. What's the point of having in-person classes in such an environment? But that's UW's "Stupid Restart" plan.

More than 86% of professors and teaching assistants oppose Stupid Restart. Will professors have to wear a mask while teaching..? Some might if they're forced to teach in-person, yet the very idea is preposterous.

So picture yourself sitting in class for an hour at a time wearing a hot, itchy mask, the instructor's breath spraying on you, with everyone spaced out because the person next to you might be carrying a deadly disease. Do you think you'll be able to concentrate on chemistry or calculus or anything else like that? And will you even be safe..? Masks don't guarantee that the virus doesn't spread--they only reduce the chances. Frat parties and other off-campus socializing will go on without face masks regardless.

The fall semester is just underway at other universities and already there have been outbreaks forcing some to go entirely online, including at NC-Chapel Hill, Iowa State, and others. A major outbreak at UW-Madison is inevitable and will quickly force everything online anyway according to a UW prof. Contact tracing is a joke (propagated by people like Rebecca Blank stare), useless in the densely populated environment of UW.

This past Monday, a large group of public officials wrote a letter of concern to the chancellor begging her not to start in-person classes. Doing so will mean many thousands of students coming to campus daily to infect each other and thousands of staff members, many of them elderly and/or minorities and thus at greater risk from the virus. But why should we care?--we're young and at reduced risk!

I along with the other blog admins do not want to have to sit in class wearing a hot, uncomfortable mask, next to people who may be sick. Although the Chinese virus has a low fatality rate for young people (unless you're obese), it has many serious side effects that are only gradually becoming known. One is a tendency to cause hundreds of microclots in the organs of individuals who get the virus. Another is long-term headaches and fatigue that can be incapacitating. What other goodies await?

We would love to have classes, go to football games, party, and heck, even study at the library. But we would like even more not to catch the virus. Therefore, we echo the aldermen's plea to Chancellor Blank stare: SWITCH TO ONLINE INSTRUCTION NOW for all courses that can be taught online, which is practically everything. Even most lab courses can be taught online these days.

One reason the chancellor is so anxious for in-person classes is: she's old and doesn't know about things like Zoom, Skype, Google Hangouts, Facebook, or cell phone cameras and thus doesn't realize how easy videoconferencing (and teaching) is these days. Some professors probably don't know either. Another reason is: The UW wants the money.

Those are not good reasons.

Chancellor Blank stare: You will be personally responsible for each and every person who gets sick and dies here as a result of resuming in-person classes this fall.

Happy sailing (in 2021).

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Sailing vicariously

Given the depressing lack of sailing in 2020, we decided to make a list of good sailing (or sailing-related) movies, and even re-watched a few of them. Watching a movie about sailing isn't as good as actually sailing, but it may be the next best thing! So, here's the ultimate list, ranked (roughly and subjectively) from awesome to great to very good....

Captain Blood (1935, b&w). English doctor is wrongly convicted of treason, sold into slavery in the Caribbean, becomes a pirate.
Sweet!

Mutiny on the Bounty (1962). Marlon Brando, Trevor Howard, Richard Harris. This spectacular remake is one of the best movies ever put on film and has aged exceptionally well, with a haunting ending that differs from the other two versions. The 1935 film (Charles Laughton & Clark Gable, b&w) is great when on board ship but is weakened somewhat by mediocre Tahiti sequences.

The Bounty (1984). Mel Gibson plays Fletcher Christian, who's just about had enough of Capt. Bligh. Anthony Hopkins, Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson, Laurence Olivier, and naked island hottie Tevaite Vernette round out the amazing cast. Better than the 1962 movie in at least one way--cuter Tahitian women.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003). Square-rigger captained by Russell Crowe pursues enemy warship around Cape Horn and beyond. Does that sound like fun? You bet.

Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951, in full color). Gregory Peck captains British warship on secret mission into the Pacific. Seems to have inspired Master & Commander, and about as much fun too.

Dead Calm (1989). Sam Neill, Nicole Kidman, and Billy Zane--together at sea? This one is a slow burning kicker.

White Squall (1996). Teenage boys crew schooner for summer class, run into storm, get skipper Jeff Bridges into big trouble. We know certain Hoofer staff will love the teenage boy theme (and others will relate to being in big trouble).

Kon-Tiki (2012). Great remake of Thor Heyerdahl's historic trans-pac adventure aboard a balsa sailing raft, plus a whale shark!

Billy Budd (1962, b&w, widescreen). Mutiny threatens aboard a British square-rigger, with lots of solid action and drama.

All is Lost (2013). Solo circumnavigator Robert Redford runs into the #1 terror of offshore sailors--a shipping container (no it's not the weather) floating just beneath the surface of the Indian Ocean. Character study has its moments and is well worth seeing.

Wild Things (1998). Two superhotties pull doublecross. Not really a sailing movie but worth seeing just for the final sequence, which is all sailing! Great cast includes Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, Kevin Bacon, Matt Dillon, Robert Wagner, & Bill Murray.

Waterworld (1995). Kevin Costner roams future Earth looking for "Dry land". Holy metallic monsters, could Hoofers build a catamaran like that one..?

Maidentrip (2013). 14-year-old girl attempts solo circumnavi-gation. Pretty intense, and a decent clinic in offshore sailing too.

Captain Ron (1992). Kurt Russell is a hard-partying skipper-for-hire in this Hooferesque comedy.

Jaws 2 (1978). Though nothing compared to the original Jaws (1975), this decent sequel is worth seeing just for the scene where their mom opens up the book on sharks, and.... The sailing attack scene is also great.

Extraction (2020, Chris Hemsworth). Okay, so this isn't a sailing movie at all, but it has a brief shot of a gunboat on a river.... and it totally rocks!

Well, that's all we've got. No doubt we've missed some, so feel free to add other good sailing flicks in the comments. IMDb is a good place to find details on any of the above. Note that no Pirates of the Caribbean movies are on this list because we're not including kiddie flix (and they all sucked).