Mind numbing

Okay, check this out:

http://forum.hoofersailing.org/viewtopic.php?f=32&t=60&p=88#p88

It is without question the most mind-numbing Hoofer thread of all time. Much of it is accurate although Johann is distorting everything, and what he can't distort, he just blows off. What's really amazing though is that the thread hasn't been deleted yet by club leaders (but keep checking).

More soon--after I've had a chance to digest the entire thread (which continues to grow)....

Trickle down behaviour

A philosophical question: If one commits a crime but isn't convicted in court, is s/he still a "criminal"..? Yes, according to every dictionary I could find. For example, thefreedictionary.com defines criminal as:

One that has committed or been legally convicted of a crime.

Similarly, merriam-webster.com defines criminal simply as one who is "guilty of crime." No resource says anything about a requirement that one be convicted (i.e. in court). Consider: If someone rapes a girl but is never convicted—perhaps her testimony is poor, or perhaps the perp can afford a good lawyer—is he then not a "criminal"..? How about someone who breaks into a car and steals the stereo but is never caught, much less convicted. Is he a criminal..? Of course he is! He's simply one who got away with his crime. Happens all the time. Unfortunately, the inverse is also possible, and even more disturbing—people often are wrongly convicted of crimes they didn't commit. [ref1; ref2] The law, despite reading like an anal-retentive version of a tax form, is incredibly capricious. It is so because its enforcement is dominated by people with agendas.

This brings us to the current situation: the committee charged with hiring the new HOI includes one or more people applying for that position, e.g. Kristin Paul. If those individuals proceed any further, they'll be violating Wis. statutes. Of course, they are operating in an environment where corruption and sleaze is the rule. Outgoing HOI Brian Borkovec apparently violated the statute (conflict of interest) when he voted on his own salary earlier this year. His boss, Hoofer Advoosigator Jim Rogers, has committed battery, perjury, and other substantial crimes. And his boss, Union Director Mark Guthier, has also committed felonies including obstruction and perjury.

In such an environment, how can the subordinates be expected to behave any better..? That would be like asking your crew to wear their lifejackets when you're not wearing yours!

Pathetic

Today it was 80 degrees out with scattered clouds and a south wind at 15 knots. In other words, perfect for sailing. Yet incredibly, all of the large keelboats (cruising and racing fleets) sat at their pins all afternoon. The J29 (technically part of the J fleet) was sailed for awhile, then put away at 2:30. The J24's sat at their pins too. Nor did the red flag go up until just before 5:00 (and then only for a little while). Thus, on one of the best sailing days of the year, dozens of club members were deprived of sailing all afternoon on any of the large keelboats!

Or were they..?

Apparently, there's hardly anyone who even wants to sail the keelboats if they can all just sit at their moorings on a day like this. So let's not hear any more crap about there not being enough keelboat lessons. And how can Chris Frye be teaching lessons..? He can barely tie a bowline.

In the stink

Dear Leader was out of town but he is back! And so much has happened in the past week.

A new commodore was "elected"—apparently. Witnesses report that some people received several ballots, so was it really an election..? Please define "election". Whatever, nobody ever said the old adage "one person, one vote" applies in Hoofers. In fact, the exact same thing happened last year (and the year before that, and...)

Meanwhile, club leaders continue to remove posts from the official club "forum". What the heck kind of forum is that..? If you want to be shocked and amused at the same time, check out their rules. Read them twice if you don't throw up the first time. It's enough to discourage anyone with a brain from posting there. The rules against purposeless inflammatory posts and meaningless threads are especially pathetic. Who do you think decides whether something is meaningless or inflammatory..? Why, the people who are being criticized, of course!

Club leaders went so far as to ban some individuals from posting any more at all, simply because they criticized the current BOC. That is what's known as c-e-n-s-o-r-s-h-i-p. One post had pointed out that despite the club rule that a general membership meeting must be held at least quarterly, there hasn't been one in years. For that, the person got banned.

At least no more boats have sunk. although I haven't actually taken a count lately....

Bashing heads

We have just obtained the pre-official minutes from the July 1st BOC meeting (as of the time of this post, these are still not available yet on the club's site). Incase you missed it, the meeting was even nastier than usual, as the minutes show. The two main agenda items were to (1) bash former J-fleet Captain Paul Grinstead, and (2) bash Vice Commodore Bridget Maniaci.

The best of the Paul bashing (by Commodore Matt Duerst and General Incompetent Chris Frye):

• Paul received the agenda and failed to show up [for previous meeting]...
• I specifically stated that announcements should be posted to the forums for the Club to see instead of unofficial mailing lists or other methods. [Could Matt mean this blog..?!]
• Administered the [Rhythym & Booms] lottery, with himself in it, and won the J29.
• I was extremely disappointed with his attitude and childish behavior.
• all 3 keelboat fleets are approximately $1100 over [budget]. Editor's note: Is that a lot..? The club's budget is, like, $300,000.
• and from Chris: I was J-Fleet Captain for many years and don’t remember any
incidents. Editor's note: Um, no incidents..?! Has Chris forgotten about how the J24 mast snapped off at lift-in because he didn't secure the stays? Or how the J22 sank because he forgot to seal it..? Or a host of lesser incidents that occurred while he was J fleet captain??

This was perhaps Paul's best response to the bashing:

"I was not at the last BOC meeting because I was taking a much-needed break from Hoofers... the political bickering and disrespect at the BOC meetings are counterproductive to [looking after myself]."

Political bickering and disrespect at a BOC meeting..?! C'mon! You just weren't drunk enough.


And here's what C. Johann Sung wrote—on official Hoofer stationery no less—about Maniaci:

• INTERFERED with Pirate’s Day 2008
• FOLLOWED POORLY at Commodore’s Cup 2008
• LED POORLY at MU Bash 2008
• UNILATERALLY Pushed for Statue of Liberty 2009
• INTERFERED with Hoofer Council Election 2009
• INTERFERED with Friday Night Socials 2009
• INTERFERED with Pirate’s Day 2009
• INTERFERED with Rhythm and Booms 2009
• INTERFERED with Commodore’s Cup 2009

Wow. Amazing that one human being could interfere so much in half a season.


Hear ye, hear ye! The finding of this blog is that:

• Bridget is exonerated because she uses better grammar than C. Johann Sung.
• Paul is not reinstated as J fleet captain because he doesn't really want that dirty job anymore anyway.

The full nasties, er, minutes are available here and here. Thanks to our operatives.

Run, Borko, Run

Hoofer Sailing's head of instruction (HOI) has announced his departure, effective before the end of this season. We commend him on his decision not to linger. The HOI position should be a revolving position to let as many individuals as possible get experience at this important job. It also ought to be an unpaid position, but that's another post.

Nevertheless, Brian's move is surprising considering that Hoofer Coordinator/Advisor Jim Rogers promoted Brian earlier this year to Assistant Hoofer Advisor. We wonder: Did JimR promote Brian in the hope of influencing him to stay longer..? After all, three years must seem like mere seconds to the Hoofer Coordinator who was HOI for fifteen years. Yet, Brian has chosen to flee to the business school. Perhaps he is going to reunite with former Hoofer Advisor Steve Schroeder to discuss ways to fix all that is wrong with Hoofers.

But what a run Borko has had! Sailing instructor. Commodore. Head of Instruction. Assistant Hoofer Advisor. Yet, one wonders if he ever actually made it into the most elite clique in HSC, which is by secret invitation only. Not even as commodore is a person necessarily invited into that club! Of course, some don't want to join. Among other things, it requires an unpublicized nighttime cruise with certain long-time male Hoofer leaders who all get naked and jump into the water together. Or maybe that's why Brian wanted out—he was invited into that club, known to some as the pole jumpers....

Unofficial minutes of Monday's unannounced meeting to form an unofficial "committee" to look for Borko's replacement are here.

Let's have a ball

Fabulous weather made for some great sailing on Saturday night for the conclusion of the Commodore's Ball and Commodore's Cup week. In fact, there's great sailing anytime now that the club has ten (or is it 11?) keelboats. Sign up for a keelboat cruise and check out the Hoofer "cruising" scene. Cruises are open to all club members and their guests, and sometimes to the public. Of course, most cruises only happen for special events, e.g. Rhythm & booms, C-Cup, sail-free day, the forthcoming commodore election, etc., so it's hard to actually get on a cruise. Please check with the skipper before bringing alcohol or other drugs on board. Also get the skipper's okay before jumping overboard.

Fear mongering for non-swimmers

Last week, the university and union started their annual stay-out-of-the-water campaign, warning of the terrible dangers of... algae. Well, I've been swimming in L. Mendota many times over the past ten years, and so have my friends, never with any ill effects. You've got a better chance of being attacked by a large fish than of encountering toxic algae. Unless you dive straight into something that looks like the photo above (taken recently near the swimming pier), you've got nothing to worry about. If you do dive into something that looks like the photo, well, then you deserve what you get. Not even a dog would jump into that. However, the "pea soup" stuff that floats suspended throughout the water column out on the open lake is not dangerous except rarely to people who don't know how to swim. See www.news.wisc.edu/16894 for more "info".

How do you know for sure that there's no danger..? Because Hoofers never cancels any classes—not even sailboarding or dinghy testouts (which require a dunking in the lake)!

Secret government authorized?

Well, the previous post went to seed after about 25 comments, most of which focused on open meetings issues and not on why all three keelboat captains were kicked off the BOC. That's interesting because our operatives have obtained a copy of a recent letter to the Wisconsin Attorney General's office asking whether Hoofer meetings are indeed public. In the interest of fanning the flames, we've decided to make the letter available as a PDF.

Here's the link (it's only about 750K and quite readable quality):

letter to AG Re:Hoofers

Although the letter asks about Hoofer Council meetings, it seems like it would also apply to BOC meetings. Some names have been blacked out for privacy interests and because they have no bearing on the contents of the letter. Keep in mind if you read it that it is only an opinion based on the documents that were apparently provided to the AG. It sounds like there may be other, more relevant documents that might have led to a different opinion. Perhaps someone can get ahold of those.

Boinked!

This week in a contentious Board of Captains (BOC) meeting, two of the club's three keelboat fleet captains were removed from office by Commodore Matt Deurst, and the third resigned in protest. The keelboat fleet consists of the club's ten largest boats and is thus the most significant fleet in Hoofers. Apparently the blow-up was a personality conflict between ROTC-officer-in-training Duerst and hard-working fleet captains Paul Grinstead and Kyle Ankenbauer. The public meeting took place on 1-Jul-09 in the Hoofer Chartroom, but Duerst did not announce the agenda in advance (contrary to Wis. law). A full analysis will be forthcoming.
[def. boink (boingk). boinked, boink·ing, boinks. slang v.tr. 1. to hose. 2. to ball sack.]

July 10 update: The promised full analysis will be limited to what is obvious: Kyle and Paul (and indirectly, Barry) were all removed against their will, with no reasonable chance to remedy the situation, for reasons we'll never really know. Heck, the commodore doesn't even know why he removed them. In Hoofers, shit just happens. Sometimes it's illegal, and sometimes it's not.

The King's Men

A number of people have asked for an evaluation of Hoofer leaders and instructors, but there are official Hoofer mechanisms for that (defective as they may be).

Nevertheless, it can be stated that most Hoofer leaders are good people—at least until they become Hoofer leaders. Then, like dogs accepted into the pack, they are compelled to become what they are associated with. The real problem is an environment that facilitates abuse as well as actual violations of law.

For instance, the person who oversees all of Hoofers, Hoofer Coordinator Jim Rogers, made false statements under oath in Dane County Circuit Court in 2006 in order to get a Hoofer member convicted of trespassing in the lower office. Perjury (violation of Wis. Stat 946.31) is a felony—a far more serious crime than any conceivable form of trespassing. Then Jim lied in court again to obtain a wrongful restraining order against someone. That order was eventually nullified by the Wis. Court of Appeals who ruled that it had been granted erroneously. Jim also likes to make false police reports about people he doesn't like.

More recently, Brian Borkovec, the sailing Head of Instruction (HOI), may have committed a felony when he argued and then voted in favor of his own salary and pay raise at the annual budget meeting in February of this year. From Wisconsin Statutes:

946.13 Private interest in public contract prohibited.
(1) Any public officer or public employee who does any of the
following is guilty of a Class I felony:
(a) In the officer’s or employee’s private capacity, negotiates
or bids for or enters into a contract in which the officer or
employee has a private pecuniary interest, direct or indirect, if at
the same time the officer or employee is authorized or required by
law to participate in the officer’s or employee’s capacity as such
officer or employee in the making of that contract or to perform
in regard to that contract some official function requiring the exercise
of discretion on the officer’s or employee’s part; or
(b) In the officer’s or employee’s capacity as such officer or
employee, participates in the making of a contract in which the
officer or employee has a private pecuniary interest, direct or indirect,
or performs in regard to that contract some function requiring
the exercise of discretion on the officer’s or employee’s part.
(2) Subsection (1) does not apply to any of the following:
(a) Contracts in which any single public officer or employee
is privately interested that do not involve receipts and disbursements
by the state or its political subdivision aggregating more
than $15,000 in any year.

According to our information, Brian makes much more than $15,000 annually. NOTE: according to the 2007 redbook, Brian's enticement was $26,256 per annum.

Former Commodore Mike Larsen also committed crimes. Among other things, he libeled a club member in an attempt to get the individual kicked out of Hoofers. Based on Larsen's distorted lies, the BOC voted to suspend the individual's membership—the only time that has happened to any club member in at least the past five years. Larsen also misused his position as Commodore to coerce people into paying money they didn't owe. Defamation and coercion are both crimes under Wis. statutes. At best, Larsen's actions amounted to criminal negligence.

The Hoofer Coordinator. The Head of Instruction. The Commodore. These are the three most important positions in Hoofer sailing Club. What does their behaviour say about the current leadership of Hoofers? It says be careful.

Incredibly, neither Rogers, Borko, nor Larsen were convicted of any crimes (yet) because they are State employees, friends of the police and the court. The King's men, as it were. Welcome to the 18th Century in Wisconsin.

More on crooked instructor hiring

In a recent post (Apr 27), we reported on corruption in the sailing instructor hiring process, including the hiring of several individuals who had failed the written exam. They were hired anyway because they're fun guys (though lacking in basic sailing knowledge—how'd ya like to find yourself paying to take "lessons" from one of them..?). And of course, they were interviewed by—you guessed it—their buddies, who happen to comprise the "hiring committee".

Some folks asked that actual names be provided, but unfortunately those are subject to the FERPA law that protects some student and job applications. However, if you still doubt that this actually happened—and that it happens every year at Hoofers—check out this recent news story about corruption in the New Haven, CT fire department. That sort of thing is typical nationwide, in many lines of work. Why would Hoofer Sailing be an exception?

It is noteworthy that there isn't one single African-American on the instruction staff at Hoofers, nor was there one single black instructor among the approx. 84 sailing instructors last year.

But wait, you cry. No blacks applied to teach sailing!

Maybe that's because a lot of people don't feel comfortable around the very white and overtly discriminatory Hoofer-controlled lakefront.

The Hydra

At right is the new Hoofer internal political flowchart. It is similar to the ratings flowchart, only this one shows how club politics operate (in a general sense).

There have been some good comments on some of the previous posts, so an evaluation of current (and former) sailing club staff is in prep. [5/29 Update: evaluating some 120 Hoofer Sailing leaders and instructors isn't really within the scope of this blog, but we'll try to post evaluations of individuals who warrant it.]

Thought Control

Aach, ideas are such insidious things. If not properly controlled, they can lead to real problems for those in authority. Hence the restrictions on the club's new official forum, initiated recently by Commodore Matt Duerst. Not only are posts restricted to happy, friendly ones (at the risk of being banned) but certain club members are banned from the outset, according to our sources. A happy, friendly club ought to be free of criticisms—especially ones that potential club members might see.

Nor did certain club hacks like the complaints that were surfacing regularly on the long-time keelboat list (keelboat@cs.wisc.edu), a holdover from better days. Some 150 club members, including most keelboat instructors and club leaders, were subscribed to that list. So, in late April, a couple of club officers started sending obnoxious, slanderous messages to the list, causing it to be shut down.

Of course, that was their intent. A new, privately controlled, non-UW-sponsored list was all ready to take its place. On the same day that the old keelboat list was terminated by UW-Madison staff, a new list appeared (groups.google.com/group/keelboat), controlled by none other than Jonathan Gapen, an ex-commodore. NOTE: the Sailing Club commodore is an employee of the State of Wisconsin.

[5/17 UPDATE: Yeah, maybe there were really only 100 subscribers after pseudonyms, and no, it's not hard to set up a google group. But there were also eleventh-hour messages to the old list from club leaders encouraging people to try the club's impotent new "forum". Two plus two still adds up to three in Hoofers.]

Toasted buns

Well, April is almost over with and we're starting to see some familiar faces around the lakefront--mostly returning instructors. New applicants are also being given token interviews, and some are appealing their not being hired. One or two have even filed lawsuits against Hoofers. It looks to be another great season on tap! (at least for people whose party buddies happened to be on the hiring committee.)

New Forum (for approved thoughts only)

At last, the club's official website has reinstated the online "forum" which was abruptly shut down in 2006 by former ex-commodore Mike Larsen because too many people were posting criticisms of the club. Of course, the club still doesn't like criticism, so all postings in the new "forum" will have to be made under your own name. Although the First Amendment guarantees anonymous publishing, that apparently doesn't apply in The H o o f e r Zone.

In addition, the new official club "forum" is only for current club members and other people who are approved by club leaders. Read that last sentence again. Yup, they plan to limit which non-club-members can post comments. Is that even legal? Doesn't sound like it, but even if it is, what does that say about club leaders..? What kind of leaders don't allow/cannot tolerate criticism, or only allow it under a person's real name? (Answer: Ones who want to be able to retaliate against individuals who criticize them.)

But never fear! This unofficial forum will be available for more open discussion.

How to slander someone and get away with it

Say there's someone in the club you don't like--we'll call him "Bob" for lack of imagination--and you want to drive him out of the club. The "why" isn't important. Maybe he threatens your paid position, or maybe he's called for an investigation into an apparently unlawful conflict of interest in the club, or maybe you just don't like him. You're a Hoofer "leader", and he's just a schmuck. So, how to go about this while minimizing any potential harm to yourself..?

From the unpublished Hoofer Leader manual:

1) Send an email to the private BOC (Board of Captains) list asking if anyone saw "Bob" around late the other night.
2) Make sure to mention the vandalism that also occurred the other night (and make sure that some vandalism actually occurred!).
3) For good measure, send a short, second email asking if it's true that [fill in name of former instructor who will be hard to contact] had safety concerns about Bob.
4) Remind everyone how great last week's instructors' party was.

All done! Let the internet work its magic, and before you know it, everyone around will be giving "Bob" dirty looks and avoiding him as much as possible. Meanwhile, of course, Bob is wondering who really vandalized those boats....

Just another pretty face..?

Hoofer leaders are working frantically to get a photo-ID system implemented before the start of the 2009 season (see sample at right). Some of the older, single, male "club leaders" are particularly excited by this system's potential. That's because once everybody's photo is in the database, they can go through it after hours, checking for cute girls they'd like to pursue. Once those faces have names, it's a simple matter to find out (you guessed it--by scanning the database) when the objectives sign up for any lessons. After that, well, use your imagination.

Club leaders have been trying to get it up for years, and it looks like they might finally have the photo database in place. Of course, the vast majority of club members do not have access to the database (only about 10% do).

We question the need for photographs on Hoofer sailing club ID's. The club has had membership cards in the past, always without photos. Photos provide the incentive and opportunity (for some) to pursue devious ends (no pun intended).

Numbers don't lie

But sailing club officers have been known to. One recently posted an analysis of last year's final budget. A few things jumped out:

(1) There was an unusual $83,644 expense to buy 420s.
(2) A major source of income is work-hour "deposits". Fewer than one in 10 club members got their "deposit" refunded.
(3) Most free memberships are, in essence, wages because they go to instructors.

Once the anomalous $83k 420 purchase is excluded and 80 free memberships are included (at $150/ea), you can see how much of the club's budget actually went to pay wages (see pie chart). This reflects a typical year. The vast majority of that cash went to instructors.

Story Time!

The dead of winter, snow, ice, definitely no sailing for awhile.

A good time for recounting your Hoofer stories.