Hoofer Sailing Club: What $20 million buys you

The Unofficial UW-Madison Hoofer Sailing Club FORUM

CROOK OF THE MONTH:
Daniel Georges Sutton--slander, obstruction, sexual harassment. WHEREABOUTS: unknown.

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TOP NEWS: Edgewood College student drowns off Hoofer sailboat on 6-JUN-2015.... HSC does $10,000 in damages to four boats on their spring break 2014 trip.... UW student drowns off Porter Boat House (dorm) piers on Aug 21, 2013... On Aug 30 2012, another UW student drowned off the Limnology pier....
TOP OLD STORY: Jim Rogers removed as Hoofer Advisor!

Click for a message from the Wis. Union director!

Mark Guthier: 20 yrs, 20 accomplishments. Since becoming Wis. Union director in 2001, Mr. Guthier has:

1. Removed all public phones at the Union.
2. Added dozens of security cameras.
3. Paved over most of the remaining grass on the Terrace.
4. Forced a $200 million fee increase on students.
5. Altered Union policies to give himself total authority.
6. Destroyed Union South.
7. Lost his license to practice law.
8. Added password login on all computers to bar visitors from using them.
9. Committed multiple felonies.
10. Trained his student employees to commit crimes.
11. Paved over any remaining grass on the Terrace.
12. Demolished Hoofers for no reason.
13. Rebuilt Hoofers in state-penitentary style (concrete block, high security, etc.)
14. Taken de facto control of Hoofers by altering Union rules ("I Am Altering the Deal, Pray I Don't Alter It Any Further!")
15. Installed magnetic card access for all areas.
16. Installed dozens more surveillance cameras.
17. Trained a new crop of student employees in the art of stalking, harassment, and surveillance.
18. become a child molestater.
19. Committed more crimes and civil rights violations.
20. Contributed to two Hoofer Sailing Club deaths.

Congratulations Mark!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

What $20 million buys you

The new Hoofer area is now open! Well, some of it is, though much is still undergoing final touch-up. It looks like the friendly confines of the old Hoofers have been replaced by a xenophobic maze of locked doors and security cameras--a "Hoofers for the 21st century". The photo montage shows some interior views superimposed on a shot of the outdoor facade.

A quick tour reveals a labyrinth of halls and closed doorways. Surveillance cameras dot the ceiling (there are five in the front office alone--has someone been pocketing the cash?!), and electronic locks secure most doors. They've gotcha coming and going now. One-way glass lets people inside keep an eye on people outside while all the latter see is their own reflection. Our latest info is that the new Hoofer area, when complete, will sport 50 (fifty) surveillance cameras. OMG. Who's on first?

2 comments:

AnonymousSat Aug 31, 02:32:00 PM PDT
How much of the $200M union remodeling actually went to Hoofers? Probably no one really knows. At least some of it is going to buy a couple of new J24's!
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AnonymousSat Sep 07, 08:33:00 PM PDT
TEH CLUB IZ BETTR WITHOUT OVERFLOWIN TOILETS AN SAILORS SPLASHIN THRU PEE PEE FRUM TEH UNION TERRACE CROWD.

CAMERAS WILL CAPCHUR IMAGEZ OV NON-SAILIN ACTIVITIEZ DAT DETRACT FRUM TEH CLUB. DAT MOST LIKELY MEANZ TEH END OV COMMODOREZ CUP AN PIRATEZ DAI IN THEIR CURRENT FORMATS.
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