Drinking games

UPDATE: A video of Hoofer "battletits" is now here.

Commodore's Cup 2012 is underway!

[CLICK for Schedule (requires javascript be enabled)]

C-CUP 2012 SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:

Fri Jul 13 - Opening Ceremonies / Friday night social
Sat Jul 14 - Greased Watermelon / Sardine Race / Ultimate Tech / Toga Party!
Sun Jul 15 - Sloop Landing / Relay Race / Dry rig a tech
Mon Jul 16 - Tech & Boards / Line toss / PROTEST MEETING
Tues Jul 17 - Volleyball! (huh?)
Wed Jul 18 - Tech & Boards / Tech Olympics / Tallent Show [sic] (hope a spelling bee isn't part of the talent show!)
Thur Jul 19 - Small fleets race / Food Olympics / PROTEST MTG
Fri Jul 20 - All Feets Race / Protest Meeting
Sat Jul 21 - COMMODORE'S BALL

Other events: Paddle polo; Boardwalk; Jousting; Hoop toss; Twister; Belly Flop; "and much much more!"

To kick off the coming week's activities, and in honor of the rather lame movie Battleship that came out this spring, today's event consisted of some poor fools, er, contestants, lying on their backs on either side of a wall (two folding tables turned sideways) throwing foam balls at one other.

This did not look like fun, at least not for the participants. Lying on your back on the board pier in the hot sun blindly tossing foam balls into the air..? How frustrating and possibly humiliating, at least if they were sober and/or knew the real purpose of the event.

That, of course, was live entertainment for long-time male Hoofer members so they could watch the C-cup activity as bikini-clad female team members—lying on their backs—tossed things at eachother. Nothing wrong with that, to be sure... and the sidewalk along the board pier was standing room only. Man, you missed it.

But how about using water balloons next time instead of plastic balls!

Dangerous games

In the past 24 hours, one swimmer and one sailor have died in Madison lakes.

Early this morning, at around 2:45 AM, a 22 year old swimmer drowned in the Hoofer mooring field. His female companion, apparently not as intoxicated as he was, “attempted to assist him to shore," according to the article. If only they'd known how to sail, she possibly could have helped him onto a nearby sailboat and they could easily have come ashore that way. (UWPD probably would have charged them with trespassing, vandalism, unauthorized presence, theft, and some other things, but at least he'd still be alive.)

But did he really drown..? Or is he merely the latest victim of the Lake Mendota Monster?

Meanwhile, on Thursday evening, a 66-year old man died after being thrown from his sailboat while racing on Lake Kegonsa. The Kegonsa club mostly races MC scows and Flying Scots, so the boat might have capsized. The man was wearing his lifejacket, so obviously there's no point in that.

Fishing for Suckers

Why are marginal incompetents teaching ASA courses, or any keelboat lessons for that matter? This makes Hoofers look bad. Students who pay lots of money don't learn nearly as much as they could. And now the ASA instructors are distracted by pirate's costumes and booty.

And didn't most of the current "ASA" instructors get their certification here, making them Hoofer ASA groupies..?

For any suckers, er, potential students thinking about taking an ASA course, you can learn a lot more just by joining HSC and taking lots of keelboat lessons. Then you can take them on various keelboats too, not just the J24. The cost is similar, and you get to sail at Hoofers for a whole year. Anyone who didn't already fork over that hefty ASA fee should think twice. For beginning and intermediate sailors, you're not going to learn anywhere near enough in ASA 101 to charter a boat. Better to really learn to sail, then charter next year.

And I'd be very wary of presenting any ASA rating earned at Hoofers to a charter company. Try that and you'll likely end up paying an extra $1000 for a hired skipper to come along on "your" charter. Many Hoofers have chartered boats 35ft and bigger with no ASA ratings, no Coast Guard certification, nothing but good overall sailing skills learned over the course of several years. Charter captains can smell a fake.

The best instructors aren't even teaching this year. And the commodore quit, and now we have fleet captains being replaced. Typical.

HSC Auction a Success?

June 8 UPDATE: Count the people on board Soma or Spray (at right, during Hoofer Extravaganza) and win a free boat ride! Count the people on the pier, and the new commodore will give you a kiss!

This year's sailing club/Hoofer auction had a yummy buffet. And there were free booklets describing all the live auction items. But where were all the people? Most items in the silent auction only had one bid (the starting bid), and it was even tougher getting rid of all the one-on-one lessons and cruises during the live auction. Let's hope this was a moneymaker and not the alternative.

The problem seems to be, the auction started three hours before sunset at 5:30pm so many people were still out sailing, and most others were out on the Terrace listening to Jazz. Maybe a later start for the auction next time would result in better attendance, more bidding, and more cash.

As for what you might have "missed":

- $30, An old, old Tech sail (sorry, already got mine out of the dumpster)
- $30, Day or night sail with ChrisF on any boat. Has Chris really given himself ratings on every Hoofer boat? And what if I want my night sail on an E-scow?
- $40, A sunset cruise with JustinC. All alone on the boat. With Justin. At night.
- $50, An "adult beverage" cruise with DougM. Woo hoo! No more of those non-alcoholic baby beverages.
- $60, Wine and cheese cruise with JJ (does JJ actually sail?)
....AND the coup d'etat:
-$150, Rhythm & Booms sail for you and 9 of your friends--plus the skipper and "a few other club members". Good golly, how many people is that..? Enough to fall through the deck?

Next time, the club should sell something worth buying (cheap), like the J29, or maybe Toyboat. That's what you have to do to make any real money.

HSC—generally safe for kids!

Thinking of enrolling your son or daughter in HSC's Youth Program this summer..? Here are some facts to help you make that decision.

First, sexual harassment charges against club leaders have been dismissed. Also, the Outdoor Programs Coordinator was removed last year, so he isn’t around (much) anymore. In addition, we try to harass anyone we don't like into avoiding the lakefront altogether—just incase they're a sexual predator, an east-coaster, or some other undesirable type. (Note however that the sexual harassment charges mentioned above were against Hoofer leaders who are all still around, so we can't really harass them into leaving.... in fact, they're the ones who do most of the harassing.)

Also, you'll be happy to know that recreational drugs* aren’t allowed at Hoofers! The only real dangers are lacerations, concussions, and drowning.

So sign your kid up now! We guarantee your child won’t die while learning to sail at Hoofers! HSC—now a proud member of ASA.

NOTE: We don't consider alcohol a drug, so we can't guarantee your child won't smell the sweet nectar of beer, tequila, Malibu^(R), whiskey, wine, wine coolers, Russian vodka, secret HSC mixers, and other refreshments that have been sloshed all over the lakefront by drunken Hoofer leaders and instructors. This is Wisconsin after all.

What concrete pier?

Lift-in 2012 at Limnology is officially a success! With only a few minor glitches, and lots of standing around. Thanks to Pete, Dan, Fred, Barry, Paul, Mark, and all the others who helped make it work. Getting the large crane was a good move and obviously necessary to hoist the boats over the tree.

To Union Director Guthier, our favorite criminal and savant: How did you know we didn't need the concrete pier to get the boats into the water?

More photos soon.