Sunday, May 20, 2012

HSC—generally safe for kids!

Thinking of enrolling your son or daughter in HSC's Youth Program this summer..? Here are some facts to help you make that decision.

First, sexual harassment charges against club leaders have been dismissed. Also, the Outdoor Programs Coordinator was removed last year, so he isn’t around (much) anymore. In addition, we try to harass anyone we don't like into avoiding the lakefront altogether—just incase they're a sexual predator, an east-coaster, or some other undesirable type. (Note however that the sexual harassment charges mentioned above were against Hoofer leaders who are all still around, so we can't really harass them into leaving.... in fact, they're the ones who do most of the harassing.)

Also, you'll be happy to know that recreational drugs* aren’t allowed at Hoofers! The only real dangers are lacerations, concussions, and drowning.

So sign your kid up now! We guarantee your child won’t die while learning to sail at Hoofers! HSC—now a proud member of ASA.

NOTE: We don't consider alcohol a drug, so we can't guarantee your child won't smell the sweet nectar of beer, tequila, Malibu(R), whiskey, wine, wine coolers, Russian vodka, secret HSC mixers, and other refreshments that have been sloshed all over the lakefront by drunken Hoofer leaders and instructors. This is Wisconsin after all.

4 comments:

  1. Check out the new bumpers on the noses of the J22s. It's not clear if they are sturdy enough to protect the boats from the sailing "prowess" of Justin Cherniak et al., but time will tell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fleet Commander, if that is your real name, why are you always so negative? Don't you ever have a happy day, wake-up and say..'I think I'll do some good!'?

    If only you could put your energies into positive, productive use it would really lift you up. Obviously you are creative, a good writer and the cartoons have been a blast. Don't give-in to the Dark Side, be a doer and a do-gooder!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Of course I have good days, and there are good things about the sailing club too, but those obviously don't need much criticism. It's the negative aspects of the club and problems with club operation which need to be criticized; hence all the negative-sounding posts. They are intended as constructive criticism. If you're looking for praise lathered on HSC, visit the official homepage.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The good things in the Hoofer Sailing Club will flourish and grow once the aging alcoholics are booted out, along with their criminality and nefarious behaviors toward sober, other men in particular, whom they see as competition for meeting young women. Additionally, a bunch of middle-aged losers who teach for money there need to get real jobs, and stop living like parasites on the Club and Union. It's disgusting and must end; then everything will get really cool.

    ReplyDelete