Sunday, January 19, 2020

Butt-plug fails, Packers get raped

SANTA CLARA.—This evening in northern California, Packers QB Aaron Rodgers--commonly known as A-Rod--tossed two interceptions and fumbled away a snap, resulting in three turnovers that doomed the Packers (14-4) from the start. The 49ers (15-3), who dominated the Packers in November 37-8, led today's NFC championship game 27-0 at halftime, an insurmountable lead they would not relinquish en route to a 37-20 win. The 49ers had nearly 300 yards on the ground against the overmatched Packers' defense.

Green Bay tried to make a game of it in the second half, outscoring the 49ers 20-10, but it wasn't nearly enough. The 49ers went into a conservative, rushing offense and a prevent defense for the entire second half, and had the Packers really threatened, the 49ers could have turned it back on and scored 50.

After the game, A-Rod passed the blame around. "We sucked," said the self-centered QB, who is now 1-3 in championship games. If he didn't say that, he certainly thought it.

Why do we hate the Packers so? We don't. We only dislike their quarterback because he's a jerk. After being drafted by former GM Ted Thompson in 2005, and after "Tittie" subsequently ran Brett Favre out of town on a rail so that his boy Rodgers could take over at QB, thousands of Packers fans screamed for Favre's return. In 2008, A-full-of-rod had this to say about the town's lack of love for him as the new team leader:

"Fans need to get on board or keep their mouths shut."[REF2, REF3]

In other words, forget Favre and get on board the A*-train, heh. Most fans got in line, but for many, Rodgers' arrogance stuck in their craw. A certain degree of arrogance and ego might be required to succeed in the ultra-competitive NFL, and Rodgers certainly has that. Nevertheless, we stand by our prediction made four years ago that the Packers will never see another Super Bowl with Mr. Obnoxious at the helm. He's almost over the hill now. What's worse, it will be a long, long time after he retires before another Super Bowl-caliber quarterback comes to Green Bay. Think Lynn Dickey--for the next 40 years. Kansas City just made it back to the Super Bowl after a 50 year absence.

Another thing not to like: even when the Packers are winning, Rodgers doesn't look like he's having any fun! He frequently leaves the field after scoring drives looking as if, well, as if he's got something up his butt. Maybe that's the look of intense determination. After all, 15 years later, he is still trying to escape the shadow of Favre.

So what does this have to do with HSC or the UW? Badgers fans should be happy--with the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers in the big game, it will be an all-cardinal affair.

*A. n., shorthand slang. the anus.

6 comments:

  1. Favre was the one of the best to ever play the game. And he looked like he was having fun doing it.

    Alas, Rodgers looks like he is done. He looks really worried about getting hit and takes his time getting back up. He is one of the current greats to play the game and I don't think Favre figures into any of the decline. You can see it in Rodger's face, he is feeling over with the game. I cannot blame him for thinking ahead. He should play no more than one year. Good guy, but time for him to leave the game with a body that still works.

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  2. Packers suck. Worst 13-3 team in history of NFL. Go 9ers!

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  3. Need some fresh blood. A spark. Something that Rodgers no longer has. He exudes sadness as early-onset midlife crisis sets in.

    The torch must now be passed to a new generation. Let us send forth our football scouts to the four corners of this vast and flat earth and return with a passer who shall rally Titletown to greater glory.

    Amen.

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  4. Nothing to sneeze atMon Jan 27, 10:52:00 AM PST

    Football is sooooo boring. You guys need to come up with a better topic. Yawn....feel so tired ever since I got back from that overseas trip to.....

    Just kidding

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  5. The Wuhan Novel Coronavirus has extended into all Chinese Provinces. I assume this includes Tong Family Marina?

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  6. Vessels sailing from the semi-autonomous Tong Family Marina (TFM) must maintain effective quarantine for 14 days before disgorging.

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