Too drunk to count?

The election results are in! Our new commodore is Margaux, with a whopping 64% of the vote! That was really easy to calculate because she got 64 votes and a total of 100 votes were cast. apparently. Preliminary numbers:

Margie 64 Justin 26 Dan 10

But wait... photos taken at the election show that only about 45 people were present! Were the officials too drunk to count? Those guys in the second row look pretty hammered (what's that guy in the maroon shirt doing--getting ready to heave into his cup?) Or was it simply business as usual?

We think the latter.

Let's see if management don't alter those numbers downward to better reflect the number of people who were actually there...

Meet the candidates!

It's August already, meaning it is time once again for the annual Commodore election!! The election will be Wednesday evening at 8PM (check TITU).

The commodore election is crucial--the lucky winner receives money, adulation, friends (at least for a year), ratings, and the power to put it to whoever s/he doesn't like! To help you make the right choice, here's a brief summary of each candidate's platform:

Justin Cherniak - "More money for me and other paid staff!"

Dan Burkhart - "Cheaper (and better) beer for socials!"

Margaux Stutz - "I really want to be commodore!"

Try not to throw up at the election.

R&B as Microcosm

A brief recap of the season to date:

1. Ex-commodore Chris Frye and his ex-commodore buddies get wasted to celebrate the start of a new season.
2. HSC instructor Andy Evenson (and buddies) take the rescue motorboat (with refreshments) on a joyride to Lake Monona.
3. A botched lesson by HSC instructor Ken Jewell lands some of his students in the hospital.
4. Club leaders use "fair and impartial means" to decide who gets the best boats for Rhythm & Booms; Chris Frye "wins" Soma and celebrates by getting bladdered up again.
5. There are fireworks and much alcohol.
6. Chris Frye skippers Soma, a six-tonne keelboat, even though he's so intoxicated he can barely talk.
7. J-Captain Randy Mullis "teaches" a J29 lesson where his students repeatedly make incompetent landing attempts.
8. Mullis then harasses other long-time club members about their keelboat qualifications.
9. Club "leaders" Evenson, Frye, Jewell, and Mullis are congratulated for being so cool.
10. It's Commodore's Cup... Let's party!!!!

NOTE: all of the above are State of Wis. employees, and collectively, they typify the alcoholism, incompetence, and abuse that permeate Hoofers.

Instructor evaluations

New this year: evaluations of selected Hoofer sailing instructors!

We kick off our new feature with a random pick: former commodore Chris Frye.

NOTE: Chris' evaluation has been moved to the new Instructor Evaluations section--use the menubar link to the right!

Join Hoofers; Don't get killed

This past week, HSC sailing instructor Ken Jewel got the "Funky Monkey" award for sending two of his students to the hospital. Har har. That's pretty funny, er, funky.

"That which does not kill us only makes us stronger" wrote a fellow instructor. Um, yeah... it's not gonna kill you; it's the 500 or so general club members who need to worry. Meanwhile, the instructors are all smiles (see photo) as they go recklessly about their business, get paid for it, plus get free memberships, weekly private parties, obnoxious posters proclaiming that "we're better than you" and so on. They are definitely better at causing injuries, I'll give 'em that.

Word has it that Ken is a great party boy, though, so his job isn't at risk. You can read more here.

"We don't harass women in Hoofers"

In a recent study, 84% of men whose actions matched the legal definition of rape said that what they did was definitely not rape[1]. Similar results have been obtained in other studies for other sex-related crimes.

Many people—men and women alike—consider "sexual harassment" to be a bunch of bull (no pun intended). It's so easy to make up a story, file a complaint, even get somebody, normally a male, charged with sexual harassment or sexual assault, even if they didn't do anything wrong. Well guess what?

At least two of the past eight HSC commodores, both of whom are men in their 30s or 40s, have been formally charged with sex-related violations (and we're betting it's more than two). You can download the most recent investigation here.

The question is: does becoming commodore make it more or less likely that an individual will become sexually aggressive..?

We suspect it's the former, given the commodore's sweeping authority within HSC. But if it's the latter (or if it makes no difference), that would suggest that sexual harassment (and possibly assault) are widespread in Hoofers.

But hey, two out of eight still means that three out of four commodores are not engaging in sexual harassment of female club members. Them's pretty good odds, eh? So c'mon, girls! Join up!

Predators and Prey.

*Predators and Prey is an ongoing series focusing on Hoofer Sailing Instructors and other club "leaders". If you would like to be featured, please contact us, or just screw up!
[1] Koss, M. P. 1998. Hidden rape: incident, prevalance, and descriptive characteristics of sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of college students.