C-CUP '22

SAT 7/30 UPDATE: It's been a fun week, but something was missing. Maybe a formal sail this evening? Some entertaining events however, like Rhubarb trying to depart the T-dock, while still attached to the pier! This at a beam reach in a 20-25 knot west wind (see photo). It was blue flag at the time. Maxim-um screw-up.

SUNDAY 7/24 UPDATE: Our operatives got ahold of the secret questions for today's no talent trivia quiz (we've changed them just a bit so as not to give everything away). Here ya go:

1. Is T.rex your mommy, daddy, or none of the above?
2. How many flamingos does it take to lay an egg?
3. How many commodores does it take to drive off the competition?
4. Which animal male has the largest, um, weenie?
5. If the end of the world is coming, where will the asteroid hit?

Yup, those really are the questions, and they're not G-rated, although they might change if the wrong people see this before the event. Check back for more hints all week long!

Hoofer Sailing Club Commodore's Cup is here! Is this now a family event? There have been children present, possibly Youth sailors although I'm not sure because I am not teaching youth lessons this year. And 10 feet away? Guys with pitchers of beer getting sloshed. Hmmm.

In any case, C-Cup is your chance to play all sorts of fun games and be groped by the commodore! (if you're female, or maybe it doesn't matter). Several former commodores have already been spotted (see photo). The event could be called Criminal's Cup due to past commodores who have committed criminal acts--Lukas Duddleston '19, Matt Duerst '09, Mike Larsen '05, Nathan Salowitz '00, to name a few. There are others who have violated the law, though possibly not criminally, like Mills Botham '17 and others. We don't know whether Austin Suvari has gone astray yet, but there is still time! (Some other Hoofer employees have also committed crimes.)

Have any been charged or convicted? Not to our knowledge, although some Wis. Union employees have been. The problem is that many cops, prosecutors and judges are also corrupt (and others are incompetent), so laws don't get enforced. Or worse, they are used as a coercive tool to beat innocent people into submission. The old saying 'power corrupts' is a truism because as you gain more and more authority, you tend to be guided less and less by any moral compass.

This past Thursday evening, Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-Il.) summed it up:

"Laws are just words on paper. They mean nothing."

It's an astonishing statement, especially coming from a lawmaker. At least he seems to be an honest one. In fairness, his full statement was: Laws are just words on paper. They mean nothing, without public servants dedicated to the rule of law and who are held accountable by a public that believes oaths matter more than party tribalism or the cheap thrill of scoring political points.

Was Kinzinger quoting straight out of the unpublished Hoofer Leader Manual?

In the absence of effective laws, people take their cues from animals. In many species, e.g. orangutans, the males do it with eachother while the females look on in confusion. Hence homosexuality is perfectly natural, or at least bisexuality is. Note however that in many cases the behavior is agonistic or domineering. Maybe that's why some Hoofer men become aggressive after approaching another guy and having been rejected. Male dolphins form alliances to keep competitors away from females, then rape the females themselves. Similarly, Hoofer leaders abuse their positions to drive off individuals they don't like, then try to monopolize women, boats, and whatever else they can. It is tribalism, cliqueness taken to an extreme.

Of course, not all commodores are crooks. Some (Matti, Pepe, JJ, and others) were more interested in having fun and partying than in embezzling money or slandering club members.

So as you make an ass of yourself this week, hoist one to them, the great commodores of the past!